MY excuse for turning up late at school rarely seemed to convince the teacher.

I would say to Miss McGhee at St Robert's primary that I was late because "I was coming up the road". I did not mention details such as I had become engrossed in trying to catch some bagaminnies in the Brock Burn and had lost track of time.

I now realise I should have told teacher my arrival had been delayed because of executive function deficit which affected my time management. Doctors and psychiatrists have now established that procrastination is not a character fault but a consequence of an underlying condition affecting the brain.

I should have got my mother to write a note saying "Please excuse Our Tommy for being late because he is suffering from a touch of executive function deficit" but that would have made me even later for class. (This note would have been nearly as impressive as that presented by a classmate whose maternal excuse was that "Andrew missed school yesterday because he had diarrhoea all the way up the Peat Road".)

Procrastination can have serious consequences. Just ask the MacDonald clan about the massacre of Glencoe. Their chief was supposed to go to Edinburgh to swear allegiance to the crown but he kept putting it off. The authorities were obviously not impressed by his excuse that he "had been coming down the glen". The Campbells were sent to inflict punish­ment and the rest is bloody history.

The scientists say that extreme procrastination may be related to a brain condition called ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder which can be seriously debilitating. Despite exhibiting symptoms such as being a disruptive influence, daydreaming, becoming easily confused, and moving slowly, I have been lucky enough not to be afflicted by ADHD.

To be honest, incidences of procrastination in reporting for duty at Glasgow Herald towers over the years were usually exacerbated by excessive consumption of strong drink. As you know, journalists were required in the old days to maintain a minimum level of blood in their alcohol stream.

I should have got my mother to write a note to the editor saying "Please excuse Our Tommy for late arrival at the office as he was out on the randan in various pubs and clubs till the wee hours."

These days, drink is rarely the excuse. When I'm late it's because I'm on Spanish time which is an hour later than when you should have turned up.