The football mania is over. What did we learn, ladies? Anything useful? Here’s my quick review of talking balls 2016.

First, the beautiful game, meaning fans and make-up. It was so nice to see men comfortable in blue and green eye shadow, wasn’t it? How long did that take to put on? Will they be more understanding about the length of time it takes us gals to get ready? Thank you, Euros.

Next, foul stuff and global football culture. A referee sent off a Swedish footballer for breaking wind during a match. Yes, actually sent him off. Not only does that mean the "trump factor" is affecting the game but what if the terraces take this up this tactic, to express mass scorn towards a team? A Mexican wave will actually be people trying to disperse the smell. If the excitement of the recent tournament made you consider actually attending a match in future, don’t.

This trumping development, incidentally, is especially alarming to people in China. The misconduct in question was during a fixture in Sweden, not the Euros, but it still got widespread media coverage, as it occurred at a time of peak football interest. Don’t forget that trends in Sweden have global impact - it’s not far from Scandi noir to Scandi odeur. China recently announced hundreds of football academies. What if there are copycat instances by Chinese student footballers? We’ve just got rid of spitting as an acceptable male action in China; now this? Will the pollution problems worsen?

Back to the Euros. The emergence of pretty colours was a nice girlie touch. One of Portugal’s strips was an elegant shade of green called "eau de nil". It was almost the score of one match in which the strip was worn. Merely admiring it made me sound like I knew a bit about football. Result.

Anyway, no woman should accept criticism of lack of knowledge as being "unsporting" was widespread. (That’s the same as non-sporting, right?) The Wales team was filmed celebrating Iceland’s victory over England, remember? And orders for Iceland shirts rocketed, with the highest demand from Scotland. I guess the country was trying to dress for European success; was there an order for a size medium from Edinburgh, from an N Sturgeon, also asking if there were shoes to match?

Lastly, it was interesting how misspeaking emerged as a Euro class issue. When referendum commentators like Jeremy Vine used the word leavey – to describe the inclination of a geographical area – it was perceived as linguistically playful. When commentators Rio Ferdinand or Ian Wright said "I fink", and "he plays brilliant", they were judged as not knowing how to speak.

Never let it be said footballers are stupid. You have to be able to count to do the Iceland Viking thunderclap. One two three CLAP four five six CLAP.

The clap (careful), it’s said, originated in Motherwell. My Dad is a Motherwell supporter and doesn’t remember it. He does recall a few opinions of the team after which "excuse my Icelandic" could have been said.

But if true, it’s an example of a successful Scottish export to a Euro nation. N Sturgeon, take note.