READERS tell us they were drawn, like watching a car crash, to the coverage of Donald Trump's inauguration. There was even criticism of his stilted shuffling when to took wife Melania on to the floor at his Inauguration Ball. As Jack Lattimore put it: "You'd think Trump has had enough weddings to learn how to waltz."

And our favourite placard on the huge protest march the following day in Washington - "Melania, Blink Twice If You Need Help".

EUNAN Coll in Coatbridge continues a Diary theme from last week by telling us: "The story is told of John O'Leary, an Irish Ryder Cup golfer of the seventies, who sported a large Afro hairstyle at the time, being seated at a hairdresser's in Dublin having a trim. 'You attended Blackrock College didn't you?' asked the barber. 'How do you know that?' replied John. 'I've just come across your school cap,' said the hairdresser.

WE liked the story former Celtic player Tony Cascarino told in a recent interview when he recalled his wife being pregnant, and giving birth while he was playing a match. After the game he signed a few autographs, then stopped at a shop for a congratulations card before going on to the hospital. Said Tony: "I gave it to her and she threw it back at me from her hospital bed. I'd written 'Best Wishes, Tony Cascarino' as I was on autopilot from signing autographs."

MORE tales about the Western Infirmary porters as Douglas Kirkham recounts: "In the early seventies, suffering from a thrombosed haemorrhoid, I had to go to the emergency department in the middle of the night. After treatment, not a lot of fun, and being taken to a ward, I was asked by the porter what was the problem. When I told him he replied, 'There's been piles of you lot in tonight'."

AND William Waddell reminds us of the classic Laurel and Hardy sketch of Stan taking Oliver a present of hard boiled eggs and nuts when he was in hospital. Says William: "One of my then workmates was in the old Ayr County Hospital with appendicitis, and a couple of us went to visit him one afternoon. We decided on a small refreshment first which led to another, and before long it was closer to the evening visit.

"We were originally going to take him fruit but then thought we would be different, and finally found a Chinese takeaway that would oblige our request. Our friend appreciated the effort, but his family on the other hand were confused when he opened a paper bag that had six boiled eggs and a handful of cashew nuts. Not everyone is a Laurel and Hardy fan."

THE annual Molendinar Lecture, about Glasgow, was given in the City Chambers last week by former council leader Gordon Matheson. Selected guests had dinner in the Western Club beforehand when former Glasgow Archbishop Mario Conti was overheard congratulating Mariella MacLeod on her election as a deacon of the Trades House. Says our man in the Western: "The Archbishop Emeritus added that he thought she was far too graceful to be a boilermaker. It was quickly pointed out that he had misheard, and that Mariella was in fact to become Deacon of the Incorporation of Bonnetmakers.

AS the Burns Nights get into full swing, a piper of the Diary's acquaintance tells us: "So far my January could be summed up as 'Four Haggises and a Funeral"."