Knows the score

COMEDIAN Dara O'Briain was appearing at Glasgow's Hydro on Saturday while the European Championship final between Liverpool and Real Madrid was being played. His opening line to his audience was: "Hello Glasgow! There’s a lot going on tonight. I know some people said they didn’t want to me to tell you the result ... well, it’s 66% yes," which was a relief for watching football fans who had recorded the game, and Dara's delight at the abortion vote in his native Ireland.


SOMEHOW it was National Biscuit Day yesterday, and a reader recalled: "Do you remember the thrill when you went home as a lad and found a biscuit tin on the kitchen table, and you eagerly opened it up hoping to wolf down a Bourbon or a Custard Cream only to discover your maw's sewing kit?"

Sunny disposition

GREAT weather at the weekend with Glasgow's parks mobbed. A reader lounging in Kelvingrove Park heard a mother call her daughter over and firmly tell her to put on sunscreen. The daughter dubiously picked up the tube, read the label and asked: "Factor Fifty? What's in it when you squeeze it out? A blanket?"

And for sheer daftness, Geraint Griffith says: "I hope my neighbours have a barbecue soon or I'm going to look rather stupid with all this salmon on my washing line."

Chew it over

OUR old chum Tom Shields is the author of the latest travel book 111 Places in Glasgow That You Shouldn't Miss which takes you to some of the city's lesser-known treats. It includes the lovely old-fashioned Glickman's sweetie shop on London Road which sells macaroon cake, and Tom explains to travellers: "The Scottish macaroon has nothing to do with delicate almond biscuits. It is an intensely sweet, solid fondant dipped in chocolate and rolled in toasted coconut. It has a strange connection with Scottish football as a favourite 'dessert' for spectators after the traditional match snack of a pie with Bovril beef drink. Vendors used to pass through the terracing calling out, 'And it's your Macaroon Bars! (Spearmint chewing gum was also on offer, possibly to cleans the palate)." What a wonderful description.

Icy blast

SAD to hear of the death of ebullient former Aberdeen player Neale Cooper who also managed Ross Country before being appointed boss of Hartlepool United. A football writer recalled Neale's introduction at Hartlepool when the first question at the press conference introducing him was: "So why Hartlepool United?" Neale simply replied: "Well I've come from Ross County, it's somewhere up near Iceland'' then burst out laughing, which won over the press.

Praise him

FORMER singer turned minister Richard Coles was a popular figure on the last season of Strictly Come Dancing, although his style was more wooden than the pews in his church. He was recounting at the weekend that he went to visit his mother in hospital and a nurse on the ward said: "Mrs Coles, is this your famous son, the Strictly vicar?” His mother merely replied: “Yes, but he was awful, so no need to fuss.”

Give it up

DID you see the video footage of the young immigrant in Paris climbing up the outside of a building to save a toddler hanging off a balcony? Says Oonagh O'Keating: "Muslim guy during Ramadan climbs up the front of a block of flats to rescue a child. Me, whilst not drinking tea for Lent, 'Somebody else will have to make dinner – I've got no energy'."