Ed ache

THEY do things differently in Glasgow. Fans attending the sell-out Ed Sheeran concerts at Hamden Park were worried about claims there would be a crackdown on people who had bought their tickets from touts. But as one fan who attended told pals on social media: "Everyone moaning about how strict getting into Ed Sheeran has been. Meanwhile here in Glasgow, the guy glanced at my ticket with a peep into my bag and said, 'Nae eccies or nutin pal, aye?' And that was that."

The thousands who attended the Ed Sheeran gigs say they were fantastic, but not everyone is a fan. As Martin Wilson put it: "At Glasgow Central station they keep apologising for the inconvenience of Ed Sheeran. Not sure if it's because the trains are busy or just in general."


CHAMPAGNE company Moet and Chandon are celebrating with 275th anniversary this Saturday at Glasgow's Corinthian bar with one of those fancy champagne pyramids. It reminds us of our favourite champagne story when Rumple author, the late John Mortimer, attended a Herald book event and said he always started the day with a glass of champagne. He said he had recently told a young radio interviewer this and the chap was genuinely shocked and asked the octogenarian if he was getting counselling for it. Added John: "He asked me how long I had been doing it, and I told him honestly, ever since I could afford it."

That's a wrap

GROWING old, continued. Says David Donaldson: "I have discovered that you can recreate the wonder and excitement of childhood simply by ordering a series of small items on the internet. Then, four or five days later, packages arrive at your door and you have not the faintest idea what it can be or who sent them. It's a bit like Christmas in the 1950s."

And a Bearsden reader writes: "We used to worry about whether it was risky drinking too much whisky after midnight. Now we worry about it being risky drinking coffee after 7pm."

Teaching a lesson

OUR teachers are now counting down the days to the end of the school year. As one Glasgow teacher tells us: "One lad tried it on the other day by asking, 'Surely it would be wrong to punish someone for something they didn't do?' I guardedly agreed with him before realising he was going to add, 'Thank goodness - I've not done my homework'."

The pane truth

TALKING of teachers, a south side reader sends us the gag: "I remember my teacher telling me that looking out of the window wouldn’t get me anywhere.

"Did I have a smug look on my face later on in life when I handed him his burger and fries at the drive through."

Given a Jag

THE pain of being a football supporter. After Patrick Thistle's relegation, reader Foster Evans sees a fellow Thistle fan writing on social media: "Were Thistle decent last season? NO. Do they have a decent squad for next season? NO. Do they deserve my money? NO. Have I just renewed my season ticket at a stupid price? You better believe it."

May or may not

A READER sees the headline in The Observer, 'Replace May with Gove' and gets in touch to say, "Tried it out. March, April, Gove, June, July. Nope, don't think it works."

Pumped up

TODAY'S piece of daftness comes from Joe Knox who says: "One of my Paisley daughters said she would take me out for tea and biscuits. Really impressed because I hadn't been a blood donor before."