A spokesman

ONE or two folk unhappy with the road closures for the cycling in Glasgow but most liked seeing the city portrayed across Europe. We liked the musings of actor Gavin Mitchell who opined: "Amazed that nobody's dug has run oot in front of them, no half bricks have bounced off their spokes and nobody has stopped them and asked them for a light!"

And a local cyclist watching the time trial competitors head back in past Springburn: "Ach I've gone faster myself on this stretch. Mind you, I was being chased by a bunch of neds at the time."

A star is born

IT'S nearly the end of the first week of the Edinburgh Fringe, and comic and best-selling author Adam Kay pointedly remarks: "Sad to not be up in Edinburgh at the Fringe for another week, but I had a lovely day reading terrible reviews of comedians I hate."

However Alistair Green took a more positive line: "If you're a comedian at Edinburgh don't forget - they aren't bad reviews, they are baseless smears put out by the mainstream media."

Hard to swallow

CABARET performer Sabrina Chap at the Laughing Horse with the show How To Be A Bad Girl tells us it's not all glamour performing. No, not at all. Sabrina recalled: "I was performing in a burlesque show where people had to do the most insane act they could think of. My act was after a woman chugged a lot of beer, and then she vomited all over the place. They didn't have the time to properly clean the vomit, and so they said they had to cut my number. Nope - I set my piano up in the middle of the vomit and gave it my all." The show, as they say, must go on.

Oscar material

MUCH debate amongst film fans over the Oscars' decision to introduce a new category of Best Popular Film to somehow reward a film the critics hated but the public turned up in droves to see. Erin Ryan is not convinced. As he put it: "A prize for popular films already exists - it's called money."

Booked it

SOMEHOW is was decided by someone that yesterday was Book Lovers Day when folk were encouraged to take some time to themselves and curl up on the sofa with a good book. Writer Tony Cowards was thinking about what book to choose and came up with the line: "The trouble with upsetting Jeffrey Archer is that you could end up in his bad books."

And think of our poor bookshop staff and the difficulties they face. Tom Rafferty was in Waterstone's in Glasgow when he heard a woman go up to an assistant and say: "Excuse me, I'm looking for a book." "Can I help?" said the assistant. The customer tells her: "He was on the television," and leaves it at that.

Taking a loan

TODAY'S daft observation of the day comes from a west end reader who emails: "A big thank you to the student loans company for getting me through university. I don't think I can ever repay you."

Through Hoops

SOME disappointment amongst Celtic fans for the board's inability to sign any new players before the game against AEK Athens the other night, particularly as Hibs turned down a paltry offer for John McGinn who then signed for Aston Villa. A Celtic fan explains it to us: "'Stuff Hibs, give them nothing, and we'll just sign McGinn for free in January'. If Celtic had a pound for every daft Celtic fan who tweeted that, then they'd maybe have enough to buy him from Villa in January."


A NEWTON Mearns reader swears to us he heard his young son discussing with his brother: "What do you think the Tooth Fairy does with all the teeth it collects? Does it know something we don't know? Perhaps we're getting ripped off for a pound."