Club foot

THE SFA's decision to remain at Hampden Park encourages us to look in The Diary's files to see how we have written about that great old park in the past. It includes the story of Celtic legend Bobby Lennox, when he was inducted into the Hampden Hall of Fame, recalling that a sports journalist, admiring Bobby's ability to lift the ball over a defensive wall, described him as having "a left foot like a sand wedge". Unfortunately in the days of copy-takers, it was mis-heard, and appeared in the paper as the less positive, "Bobby Lennox has a left foot like a sandwich".

Italian trio

TALKING of copy-takers, on the only occasion that Scotland has beaten Italy, at Hampden in 1965, a fitba' writer got so enthusiastic that he wanted his story to begin "Magnifico! Magnifico! Magnifico!" After repeating the three words to his copy-taker the exasperated copy-taker told him: "It's alright, son, I heard you the first time."

Tramping

ONE of our favourite Hampden stories is the one the late great author William McIlvanney told of meeting actor Sean Connery at a Scotland match at Hampden. "I can't believe I'm here," Connery told him. "I was sitting in Tramp's at two o'clock this morning when Rod Stewart walks in. He's chartered a private plane and why don't I come to the game. So here I am." Tramp's, of course, being a well-known London nightclub.

A policeman who was with McIlvanney chipped in: "It's a small world, big yin. Ah was in a house at Muirhead at two o'clock this mornin'. It was full o' tramps as well.”

Cheeky

A READER once told us of taking his two sons to the family section at Hampden for an international, where he was sitting next to a boy of about eight who persistently blew a horn to the annoyance of those around. Eventually the youngster blew the horn far too near the ear of his own father who quietly told him: ''Son, if you do that again, the next time it makes a toot is because you farted.''

French wave

A RETIRED police officer told us of a Scotland v France game at Hampden when six French supporters missed their coach home and had nowhere to stay.

The police wanted to give them a cell for the night but were dismayed to discover they couldn't do so under health and safety regulations. So one officer had the bright idea of asking them to jump up and down waving their arms about. When this strange instruction was translated to them, they did as they were asked – and were promptly arrested for breach of the peace and put in the observation cell with the door left open for the night, and then given breakfast in the morning.

Baby talk

FOOTBALL supporters can get a bit rowdy on their way to Hampden but a reader once passed on that she was travelling by bus from East Kilbride to Glasgow on a Sunday, with the passengers being "entertained" by Celtic fans, en route to the then CIS Cup final at Hampden, working their way through the Celtic song book. Just then a woman got on with a baby sleeping in her pushchair. She looked down the bus, pointed at the Celtic fans, and told them to be quiet as "the wean's sleeping".

To underline the point she added: "And if you wake the wean, you'll be taking her to the match." Silence thus ensued.

Piped up

FORMER Scotland boss Gordon Strachan has a reputation for his sharp rejoinders. A reader attending the Aberdeen-Hearts Scottish Cup Final in 1986 noticed that Gordon, who had then left Aberdeen for Manchester United, was sitting in the stand behind them. While the pipe band was still going around the Hampden track before the teams came out, our Aberdeen-supporting reader turned to Gordon and asked: "Aye, Gordon, do you no' wish you were out there this afternoon?'' Gordon replied: ''Naw. Ah cannae play the bagpipes.’"

Jagged remark

AND finally, a reader in his younger days was attending an international at Hampden while wearing his old university scarf, which was black with yellow and red stripes, to keep out the cold. He told us: "At half-time a well-refreshed wee punter in front of us produced a half bottle from his pocket, rubbed the neck on his sleeve with great care, and offered it with, 'Here, pal, hae a drink.' I politely declined. He persisted, 'Naw, come oan, pal. If you support Partick Thistle, you need this mair than me.’"