Oh shoot

TALES of meeting famous folk, continued. Says Davey Graham in Edinburgh: "A few years ago I realised I was sitting next to Oscar-winning director Danny Boyle in an Edinburgh pub. I attempted to take my first ever selfie, however not being technologically gifted this did not go well. Mr Boyle was very friendly and offered to assist but after much button pressing and head scratching, no joy was had. Observing this debacle another kindly patron of the aforementioned establishment intervened, took control of the phone and directed the "shoot" with the required success."

Hail!

THE recently published book marking the 60th anniversary of his first Celtic appearance, Billy McNeill: In Praise of Caesar by former Sunday Mail sports editor Alex Gordon once again raises the debate on whether Billy was nicknamed Cesar after film star Cesar Romero, or Caesar because of his leadership qualities. Alex says Billy's old teammates argue it morphed into Caesar after the European Cup triumph. Anyway, Alex checked with Billy's wife Liz which she preferred and she gave the wonderful reply: "I'm not fussed. I've never had to write either on a Christmas or birthday card. I've always called my husband Billy."

Listing

MORE on growing old as Ian Craig overhears an elderly chap tell a pall he bumped into in the supermarket: "I had a shopping list in the house with three items on it. I’ve forgotten the list and I can’t remember what the third thing was.” His pal was very supportive as he replied: "Two out of three is petty good – start worrying when you don’t remember any."

Can it

OUR Saturday column looking back on Diary stories about Hampden Park reminded Alistair Moss in Doune, Perthshire, of a more robust era: "At the Scotland England game in 1976 when Kenny Dalglish scored the winning goal, I was in the standing terraces with a guy behind me relieving himself into his empty beer can. When the ball hit the back of the net the crowd surged forward a few feet. Just then I heard from behind, 'Jesus! I've cut ma'sell. Could he no' have waited til a finished afore scoring.' Needless to say the back of my jacket was wet. The joys of Hampden."

Rings a bell

WE asked for your first day at uni stories, and entertainer Andy Cameron goes further back by remembering his first day at school: "Farie Street Primary (don’t let the name fool you, we got one holiday a year on Al Capone's birthday). The boy next to me was from a posher part of Ru’glen – evident from the fact he was wearing a jumper wi’ nae holes, and he screamed from the first bell, 'I want to go home'. After an hour or so I decided to offer some guidance. 'Shut yer face,' says I. 'We get hame at 12'. 'No we don’t,' says torn face,'we’re here ‘til we’re fifteen'."

In a spin

A READER catching a bus into Glasgow heard a passenger reply to a travelling companion who had asked if she had done anything exciting that week: “Most exciting thing I’ve done is opening the dishwasher while the cycle was still on.”

Talking rhubarb

WE have suggested in the past that folk from Paisley are a bit thrifty. It is confirmed by Joe Knox who saw a chap outside St Mirren's ground after Friday's match against Celtic collecting horse dung left by police horses. Inevitably when he told a curious passerby that he was collecting it to put on his rhubarb, he was told: "I usually have custard with mine."

Aye spy

AFTER the Russian poisoning suspects gave that outrageous interview about wanting to see the 123metre spire of Salisbury Cathedral, reader Foster Evans tells us: "I'm awfy worried. I've told at least four people in the last month that the highest church nave in Scotland is in Glasgow Cathedral – 32 metres by the way – and now I'm wondering if they think I'm a Russian spy."