Performance marred
ACTOR Alan Cumming is to receive an outstanding contribution to film and television award at the Scottish Baftas next month. Older readers will recall that Alan first made his name with fellow actor Forbes Masson with their stage show Victor and Barry which was about two Kelvinside thespians. A young reporter on the Scotsman gave the show such a bad review that they incorporated the reporter into a version of Dean Friedman's song Lucky Stars with the line "We can thank you, Andrew Marr, that you're not as smart as you'd like to think you are.'' We wonder whatever happened to that young reporter?
As you like it
ONCE again we are reminded how clever folk who run bookshops are. The Highland Bookshop in Fort William has the front window temporarily boarded up after a young chap under the influence of alcohol drove a shopping trolley into it, smashing the glass. Instead of simply leaving a blank piece of wood, staff have written on it "But soft, what light though yonder window BREAKS? Shakespeare (Maybe)"
But just in case that's too highbrow they have added "Open as usual. We've a SMASHING selection of books inside."
Shunted
WAYWARD golf shots, continued. Says Peter Hunter: "At one of our golf outings at Bathgate Golf Club a number of years ago, one of the party hit a wild slice which landed on a passing goods train on the nearby railway. At the prize giving he was awarded the longest drive as we assumed his ball ended up at least a few hundred miles away."
Going to the palace
SHOCKING news as our sister paper The Evening Times claims that Glasgow's People's Palace will have to close because of expensive repairs being required. Not only are the exhibits on Glasgow's past interesting to see but they also have great staff there. A reader once told us that he burst out laughing when he saw a photograph of the shipyard apprentices' strike in 1960 there and realised that he was in it. The noise brought the attention of an attendant who didn't come over to tell him to be quiet but simply told him: "Aye, if you didn't feel old before, you should now, if you're a museum exhibit,'' before carrying on his merry way.
Frosty reception
WE mentioned nicknames of polis officers and a retired officer tells us: "We had one called the Snowman. He got the name as he frequently dismissed any difficulty with the words, 'S'no ma beat, s'no ma problem'."
Paws for thought
THE Herald reported that the late Stephen Hawking had left a video message reminding younger generations to "Look up at the stars and not down at your feet". This prompted Diary reader David Clark in Tarbolton to reminisce: "There must have been nae dug dirt on the pavements where he was brought up. Living in Springside where I was brought up 'the dugs', i.e. greyhound racing was a popular pastime as it invariably involved gambling. Greyhounds were walked around the village on leashes, sometime with as many as three in each hand. One had to tread carefully to avoid the inevitable trail of faeces left behind."
Well we're glad Dave got that off his mind, or should we say shoe.
No more nice Guy
MARTIN Morrison points out: "There was a fire in the roof space of Skibo Castle this week. Thankfully, nobody was injured and the damage was contained. The BBC Highland news reminded us that it was the venue of the wedding of Madonna and Guy Ritchie in 2000. Curiously that marriage also went up in flames."
A bit rocky
TODAY'S piece of daftness comes from stand-up Tony Cowards who says: "To the woman who asked me to impersonate Sly Stallone and I replied, 'I'll be back', I apologise for giving you the wrong impression."
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel