Dressing up

YES, it's that time of year. Says Maureen McAllister in Irvine: "I was going to a wedding a few years ago and was all dressed up in my finery. Our son was driving us there and my young granddaughter was sitting beside me in the back seat. I was aware of her keeping studying me, until she eventually said, 'I dressed up for my Hallowe'en too Gran'. I think it was the big wedding hat that did it!"

Kicked off

WORLD politics continue to fascinate Herald readers. A Diary fan phones to ask: "Just heard a 63 year old right-winger is now president of Brazil. Is it Jairzinho?" Younger readers may have to ask an older football fan about that one.

Greens with envy

A READER reminded us that the forces on the Falklands referred to locals as "Bennys" due to many wearing woolly hats similar to the Crossroads caretaker. But Rab Neilson in Ayr comes to their defence and points out: "The locals used to refer to the military as 'Wheneyes' because they were always talking about where their last posting was."

Incidentally, Rab was working there on a supply ship on charter to the MoD. Says Rab: "One week the skipper got very excited because we were going to be taking part in Operation Fist, which sounded very macho. When we drew alongside the supply ship imagine our skipper's dismay to see us being loaded with pallets of lettuce, cucumber, and tomatoes as we were taking part in the Falkland Islands Salad Transfer."

The last supper

THINGS that can only happen in Glasgow, we imagine. Stand-up Darren Connell, who appears in the TV series Scot Squad, mused on social media: "I’ve been eating really healthy, and going to the gym nearly every day, but decided to have a cheat meal the other night. Can you all keep a secret? I started crying during my sausage supper I was that happy. Crying and eating at the same time is a weird combo."

Close shave

OUR tales of colourful shipyard workers move further inland as Willie Maley in Ayr recalls a worker at the Weir's of Cathcart engineering works who was an unofficial barber, giving colleagues quick haircuts. Says Willie: "His official duties were progressing work from one department to the next. His gaffer queried the lack of progress of a certain contract, and asked if he'd been busy. 'Busy?' said the barber, 'Aye, I've been busy alright. It's no even the tea break and ah've already done five heids!'"

Ya dancer

A HILLHEAD reader sees in the Radio Times that Strictly Come Dancing judge Bruno Tonioli confessed that in the 14 years he has been a judge he has never actually watched a single episode of Strictly. "Didn't realise we had so much in common," says our reader.

Making a splash

TODAY'S piece of daftness comes from Alan Felyk who asks: "I wonder how many baptisms of fire were performed before someone realised it would be a good idea to switch to water."


LIKE many we remain concerned about the news emanating from the United States. A reader there emails us the latest: "Breaking news – authorities have intercepted a suspicious package addressed to President Donald Trump. It contained a dictionary and a copy of the US Constitution."