Liked a bucket

WELL, did you have many guisers at the door last night? And did any of you follow the advice of writer and performer Limmy who declared yesterday: "You don't have to pretend you're not in. Place a sign outside saying 'Halloween Treats' above an empty bucket. Sprinkle a few empty wrappers inside."

And a reader phones to ask: "Children dressed as zombies at the door asking for food - was it a dress-rehearsal for post-Brexit Britain?"

Paws for thought

SOME folk do go over the top with Halloween. As Rab Livingstone passed on: "I was in a cafe when a woman came in with three young kids and a dog. The dog had a spider costume on. By the look on its face I don’t think it was the dog’s idea."

And a reader gets in touch, a tad grumpily, and says: "What’s the difference between Halloween and Christmas? The supermarkets don’t seem to know either."

Wake up call

WE asked about conversations and events that can only happen in Glasgow. A reader passes on a message he read on social media from a young Celtic supporter who stated: "One of the guys ah work with is a Rangers fan, but brand new. He had a stroke and was in a coma for a few days. Daft Kev who's a Celtic fan sent him a card saying, 'Rab you've been in a coma for three years. Celtic got 10 in a row! Get it up ye."

Hard to swallow

FORMER Ayrshire MP Brian Donohoe has been reminiscing with us about local councillors and tells us: "There was one councillor giving a vote of thanks who paid a glowing appreciation to the women for the splendid purvey but went on to give a special thanks to Mrs Simpson for giving a loan of her urinal for making the tea. Not a soul drank any from that moment on."

Sweet shot

WAYWARD golf shots, continued. Hazel Burn confesses: "Many years ago my husband hit a wayward shot going down the 18th at Whiting Bay. The shot went through the open window of one of the cottages bordering the hole and landed on the lap of the owner who was still in bed. Full of remorse he decided to buy her a box of chocolates. However by the time he had finished his round and bought the chocolates, whilst his remorse had not diminished his bravado had, so we just ate the chocolates ourselves. The lady never got to love her Milk Tray."

Bit flushed

THE Herald news story that ScotRail are continuing to use trains that dump human waste from their toilets onto the tracks, reminds us of a reader who was on the platform at Central Station waiting for the last train to Wemyss Bay when a train from Ayr pulled in. A fellow passenger who clearly needed the toilet jumped on the train from Ayr to use the loo. Unfortunately as it was the last train and while he was in the loo, the driver shut the power down and locked the doors. His banging and shouts for help were heard by a passing train cleaner who used an emergency key to let him out.

At that the chap calmly walked across the platform and jumped on his train to Wemyss Bay just seconds before it left.

Chalk it up

TODAY'S piece of whimsy comes from Mike Carter who says: "Back in the day of blackboards, my teacher Mum was asked by one of the infants, ‘Where do the words go when you rub them off the board Mrs Carter?’ Still unsettles me 40-odd years later."

An age thing

MORE on growing old as Kate Hall says: "I've reached the age where I meet a person I would consider 'older' and then find out they're the same age as me."