Chilly response

AH, you can take the girl out of Ayrshire... Laura Bicker, the BBC's Ayrshire-born foreign correspondent, now based in Seoul, the capital of South Korea, was commenting on the plunging temperature yesterday, and as she put it: "OK, Korea. Time to bundle up. It’s getting close to that temperature when even your eyelashes feel like they might freeze! Even me (a Scotswoman) has decided to switch the heating on!"

She lasted until December without the heating on – is this a record for a Scot we wonder?

On a high

TALKING of Ayrshire, Tom Hamilton says: "Your mention of New Cumnock reminded me of the story from the Cumnock Chronicle a number of years ago when former Scotland international Alan Rough (clearly a man with a sense of humour – remember that perm?) was manager of Glenafton Athletic. As part of the team’s pre-season preparation he announced that they were going to undertake some altitude training. He was taking them to Leadhills for the day."

Rumble in the jungle

IF you think our politicians can only talk about Brexit, we pass on the observation by Glasgow SNP MP Carol Monaghan, a former teacher at Hyndland Secondary, now down at Westminster who declared: "In queue to get some lunch when Tory grandee Nicholas Soames comes up behind me and burps loudly in my ear. Is this what a posh Tory upbringing produces? Give me a Glasgow comprehensive any day!"

Cool it

ANTEDILUVIAN barmen continued. Says Neil Macleod: "Your stories remind me of a certain public bar in Portree, Skye, where, on being asked for ice by a southern tourist, mine host would reply 'there will be plenty in December'."

That's a wrap

SO how's everyone getting ready for Christmas? We pass on the comment of one mother who declares: "All I want for Christmas is to sleep for nine hours straight, wake up to the sound of coffee brewing, and then ask questions like, 'What did WE get the kids for Christmas?' and 'How late were you up wrapping gifts last night?' Basically, I want to be my husband."

And one dad did tell us: "Merry Christmas to everyone, except the person who wrote the instructions on how to put this trampoline together."


AMERICAN animal rights group Peta is urging people to stop using sayings which suggest harming animals such as "Killing two birds with one stone" which it wants replaced with "Feeding two birds with one scone". Even that has proved controversial. As ecologist Rich Lewis commented: "It's incredibly bad to feed scones to birds. It's almost like killing two birds with one."

Not singing

OUR stories about Glasgow shop assistants berating customers remind author Meg Henderson: "When I was working in a Glasgow hospital I didn't have much time at lunch. I wanted the latest book by Maya Angelou and rather than travel into the city centre to a 'proper' bookshop, I took a chance and went into a Menzies shop and asked if they had the book. The wee wifie looked at me and said, 'Naw.' I asked if they might be getting some in. 'Naw,' came the answer once again, followed by "Ah widnae bother hen, she's shite.' There spake a true literary critic and I never did get the book."


NOMINATIVE determinism – the theory that folk are attracted to jobs associated with their names. Says a reader: "Am I the 53rd person to point out the humour in the fact that The Herald wrote yesterday that the minister for Scotland’s fire services is called Ash Denham?"


BRINGING up teenagers – says Rodney Lacroix: "My daughter just got summonsed for jury duty, so if you're in court and see a juror complaining about the wifi and rolling her eyes every 30 seconds that's her."