THE things you see in Glasgow... stand-up Sean McLoughlin, who is appearing at The Hug and Pint on Great Western Road for two nights next month, was asked what his favourite memory of the city was. Said Sean: "I once saw a drunk man seemingly propose to his girlfriend in Glasgow, but when on one knee he looked up and realised he was talking to the wrong person. Doesn’t get much better than that."

Planted evidence

A RECENT Diary story reminded a lawyer of our acquaintance: "In the middle of a trial in which I was defending one accused charged with being concerned in large scale supply of Temazepam, a juror was overheard as he left court at the lunch break confiding in another that he really didn't understand why the supply of 'tamata plants' was serious enough for Glasgow High Court.

"Not guilty, by the way."


GROWING old, continued. A Milngavie reader tells us: "My wife came down the stairs the other day and asked, 'Do you know what I forgot to do?' I suitably answered, 'No, what's that dear?' She paused, thought for a moment and said, 'I can't remember'."

Come to heel

NEW research shows that while women in general are ditching high heels, Glasgow is bucking the trend. It seems only 29% of British women wear heels on a night out but in Glasgow it rises to 42%. It reminds us a few years ago of First Minister Nicola Sturgeon holding a public meeting during an election campaign, and the first question from the audience was: "Where do you buy your shoes?" Nicola later joked that she should get more votes as she was doing the whole campaign in high heels.

Oh and when actress Siobhan Redmond was appearing as Jean Brodie at Glasgow's Theatre Royal, she explained that the trick was to wear vertiginous high heels at the beginning then change into progressively smaller heels so that it looked as though the schoolgirls were getting taller.

Good to talk

TALKING about audiences, former Radio Scotland boss Jeff Zycinski is touring bookshops with his book The Red Light Zone, and was asked about any problems when he moved his Radio Scotland HQ from Glasgow to Inverness. Jeff replied that he complained about not having video conferencing kit in Inverness although they had it in the Glasgow studio. After three years of complaining video conferencing equipment was installed in Inverness but Jeff was unable to contact Glasgow. A helpful BBC engineer explained: “You were making such a fuss that we took the kit out of Glasgow and gave it to you.”

Bit of a card

ST Valentine's Day fast approaching and a reader tells us: "My girlfriend asked if I had something special planned for Valentine's Day. I said I was working on it, and she gave me a big smile. Which is odd, as I thought she'd be upset that I'm having to work on Valentine's Day."

Hot stuff

IT'S not often families have a bit of fun with newspaper death notices, but a reader in Canada notes in the Hamilton Spectator newspaper that an obituary for Sybil Hicks, written in the first person, included: "I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted… having been cremated."