Game bird

END of an era as our old chum Jackie Bird leaves Reporting Scotland. I remember when Jackie officially opened the charity The Coach House Trust in the west end and told folk: "I was reading my son's workbook for school, in which he was encouraged to write about his family. So he had written 'My mum puts on her best clothes, lots of make-up, and then goes out working at night'. I wondered what the teacher made of it."

And when Jackie was presenting a programme on new electronic aids for the blind, she highlighted a device that you held up to cloth and which told you its colour. She later remarked: "I couldn't resist putting it against my blonde locks – and then this voice intoned 'brown'.''

Ring to it

TALKING of BBC Scotland, their journalist, Laura Maciver, remarked on social media the other day: "I’ve just realised I read six news bulletins this morning wearing only one earring. Thanks for telling me." To which, fellow BBC presenter, Ricky Ross replied: “Pirate radio.”

Counter argument

TRICKY business, the dating game. A Glasgow reader tells us he heard a young lad tell his mates in the pub: "Whenever I tell a girl I meet that I'm a butcher, most of them turn their noses up. So now I tell them I work with animals. Seems to go down better."

Flagged up

OUR fascination with all things American continues. We pass on the comment from American Elayne Boosler: "So much of America is so obese now, we're thinking of changing the flag to vertical stripes."

Read more: Buckie with fish and a new take on American Cream Soda

Diamond geezer

SAD to hear of the death of retired Newton Mearns jeweller Eric Smith, whose great designs were worn by members of the Royal Family. Eric was also a good friend of The Diary and once took us aside to show us a business card he had been offered at a trade show in Bangkok by a Vietnamese jeweller. "Don't think it would go down well in Glasgow," he remarked. It was a card for a firm called "Doji Jewellery".

Being patient

STRESSFUL places, hospitals. Elinor Grant was at the Golden Jubilee Hospital in Clydebank when she heard a patient in the waiting area ask the receptionist: "Can you tell me where to go?" before adding the qualifier: "Nicely".

Tea time

IT is difficult to follow all the nuances in the Julian Assange case following his arrest when he was dragged out of the Ecuadorian Embassy in London. Should he be sent to America or Sweden? Is he a hero of democracy or simply a sexual predator? It takes a reader of The Diary to sum it up when he emails us: "Word of advice – whatever you do, if you invite Julian Assange around for tea, don’t say, 'Make yourself at home'.”

Took a pounding

MARIANNE Taylor's feature in The Herald about how you should react if your Scottish banknotes are rejected in England remind Linda FitzGerald in Killin of being frustrated when her Scottish notes, the only ones she had on her, were rejected by the automated machine when she was trying to buy a ticket for the Manchester Metro. She thought at first it was because they were crumpled and she spent frustrating minutes trying to flatten them before they were rejected again. Eventually she used a credit card after taking advice from a helpful Mancunian. But as Linda tells us: "However I was almost apoplectic, and in best Richard Wilson style raved 'I don’t believe it' when I saw the sign to indicate that the machine would accept euros."