Making waves
GREAT weather for the Easter weekend, and it makes us think of previous Easter stories in The Diary, including the Bearsden reader who told us he was spending Easter on Lanzarote when a little boy came running up the beach to tell his sunbathing mother in a distinctly Glasgow accent: "A big wave knocked me over and a wummin had tae help me oot." "What was yer da doin?" asked the mum. "Laughin'" replied the wee boy.
Bet on it
HOLIDAYING at Easter was a Glasgow chap who had been persuaded by his family to go pony trekking in the Lake District. Being a tad dubious about the venture, he asked his wife as they were putting on their riding helmets, and surveying the four-legged beasts in front of them: "How can I pick the slowest one?" "Put a bet on it," his wife replied. "That usually works for you.”
Let's face it
A SOUTH side reader once told us she had her two young grandsons staying over at Easter while their parents had a break. She had put the boys to bed, and had gone for a shower when she heard them noisily jumping around the room. With her make-up off, clad in a dressing gown, and her hair bundled into a towel, she stormed into their room and told them to get to sleep. As she left the room she heard one of the boys whisper: "Who was that?”
Gulp
LET'S not forget the actual meaning of Easter, as we recall a primary teacher telling her class the story of the Crucifixion. The little ones were enthralled with the story, and you could hear a pin drop in the classroom. She came to the part where Jesus on the cross was thirsty, and she continued: "And guess what they gave him to drink? Vinegar!" The class's silence was broken by one youngster declaring: "The b*******!". "Quite so," declared Miss, and carried hurriedly on.
Just the ticket
NOW just because it's Easter it doesn't mean all the parking meters in Glasgow are free to use. We remember a reader going back to his car on an Easter Monday which was being ticketed, and he remonstrated with the warden that it was a bank holiday. "It's no a bank holiday for me, pal," he replied, and kept on writing.
Egged on
GROWING old continued. An Anniesland reader once told us: "Now at an age where my wife and I have our own Easter hunt – I hunt for her glasses and she looks for my car keys.”
Flight of fancy
THE airports can be busy at this time of year and one reader recalled: "When my granddaughter was four, we went as a family group to Florida at Easter. At Glasgow Airport, we went through all the queues, check in, passport control, body scan, etc, which took over an hour. When we finally emerged into the departure lounge, my granddaughter asked, 'Are we in Florida now?’"
Flushed
THERE will be a few folk out messing on boats this weekend. One Easter a reader told us: "My brother was getting his boat out of the water at Rhu Marina for the hull to be cleaned and painted. It was the first time he had done this, and as he inspected the hull he found a hole in the underside which concerned him. He poked his finger in and waggled it about while asking the marina guys, 'Is this serious?' The marina guy asked, 'Has your boat got a toilet?' I have never seen a digit extracted so quickly.”
Write on
AND, finally, there was the primary school pupil who asked her dad at Easter: ''Daddy, how do you make love?'' Recalled her Dad: ''Heart pounding, I had the presence of mind to ask why she wanted to know. 'Well,' she said, 'I know it begins with L'. She was writing an Easter card to us.''
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