Fishy tale

OUR story suggesting that folk in Glasgow's west end can sometimes be a tad pretentious brings forth this example from reader Patrick Toal, who tells us: "This was heard verbatim in the Waitrose supermarket in Byres Road – a three-year-old or thereabouts recalcitrant kid, brandishing a can of tuna, 'But Mummy! Me no like! Me no like!' His west end yummy mummy replied: 'But darling, it's just tinned sushi'."


THE Herald reported that dust from the Sahara Desert had been blown as far as Scotland, dirtying cars and windows, and posing a health threat to folk with breathing difficulties. Reader Tom McGill had the inspired suggestion: "Why don't we turn all the wind turbines round and blow it back?"

Work it out

A GLASGOW reader tells us his pal is known for his funny stories and told him the other day: "My boss emailed me and said he was having to give a speech and could I tell him some jokes. I emailed him back and said I was very busy working, but would send him something later. He emailed me back saying, 'That's hilarious. Send some more'."

Compose yourself

HERALD arts reporter Phil Miller wrote that a music festival is being planned to highlight the links between acclaimed Norwegian composer Edvard Grieg and Scotland – Edvard's great-grandfather was Scottish, although his surname Greig had its spelling altered in Norway. I remember The Herald's award-winning writer Jack Webster also claiming a distant family connection to Grieg – I think Jack said that about most folk from the north-east. Anyway, Jack tracked down the fact that Edvard Grieg had visited Scotland and found a memorable quote from the composer in which he stated: "Edinburgh people are very kind. They have asked me repeatedly to visit them and to play and I would do so willingly if it were not for the sea. I am the very worst of sailor. Once, some years ago I crossed from Bergen to Aberdeen. I shall never forget that night of horrors, never!"

Bit of a Charlie

MORE memories of the late, great, Billy McNeill of Celtic as Charlie Mcguire recalls: "I went to Billy's book-signing when his autobiography was launched, and happily stood in the huge queue waiting to meet my boyhood hero. A member of staff gave everyone a Post-it note on which to write what they would like Billy to write. Hoping to get a laugh from Billy, I scribbled: 'There's only one King Billy – and that's me!' However on finding myself actually in the awesome presence of Cesar, despite his totally disarming, friendly demeanour, my courage collapsed. I have it still, a treasured possession, that book bearing Billy's signature, and the hallowed inscription, 'To Charlie, Yo!"

What larks

MUCH discussion over listeners at Classic FM voting Vaughan Williams's admittedly soporific The Lark Ascending as their favourite piece of classical music. Says reader Stuart Russell: "Releasing my inner Philistine, I must say that I always think of it as 'Lift Ascending' as it does come across like the sort of muzak they play as you wait to reach the top floor."

Pregnant pause

OVER in America, the New York Post has reported that pregnant Royal bride Meghan Markle "plans to take three months of maternity leave". "From what?" asked a reader.

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