Uptown girl

IRISH former boyband Westlife were back on tour with a concert at Glasgow's Hydro where a mix-up over staging left a number of fans without seats. Many, though, enjoyed the night. As one Glasgow woman confessed on social media: "Westlife was sooo good last night, but confirmed once again that ah canny handle the booze, so that’s me aff it."

And Caitlin, one of the young women working at the Hydro's bar remarked: "Served some woman at the Westlife show that came to the bar and asked for 'Two Westlifes'. To which I was like, 'What?'. Then she goes, 'Sorry, sorry, I meant two ciders with Westlife'. She meant blackcurrant. Guess she had Westlife music on the brain."

Hard to swallow

WE asked for your restaurant disasters and Ian Reid in Bearsden tells us: "Years ago we were in Malta with friends, and went out for a meal in a small dimly-lit restaurant. I had rabbit stew, a traditional Maltese dish which had parmesan cheese to add as necessary. After the meal we had coffee, and my friend poured milk then added two spoonfuls of sugar from the matching silver milk jug and sugar bowl. He almost choked on the first mouthful. The dim light disguised the fact that the sugar was in fact in a plain white bowl while the parmesan cheese was in the silver bowl. It took some time to stop laughing, I have to say."

Stuck oar in

GOOD to see the women kayakers in the Herald news pages yesterday who combined a holiday to the Summer Isles with a rubbish collection of disused plastic from the islands' coasts. It reminds us of the chap in Fort William who announced in his local that he was getting his kayak out of the garage for some summer use and he thought he would spruce it up by paining it tartan to make it more eye-catching. He went off the idea when the comedian further up the bar simply commented: "Och aye, canoe."

Takes the biscuit

NO, we don't know who decides these things, but apparently yesterday was National Biscuit Day. We have one of these electronic calendars which tells you a little bit about what each day of the year signifies and yesterday it simply recorded: "So normally we might put a little bit about the nation's favourite biscuit, the history of the biscuit, a few biscuit facts etc but I’m not going to kid myself that you’re even still sat reading this. Far more likely that you’re already in the kitchen with the kettle on selecting your favourites from the biscuit tin right now." Anyway a reader felt the need to email: "I'm going to a posh do to mark National Biscuit Day – I'm always up for a bit of hobnobbing."

Labouring

CAN'T really avoid politics these days. Says Andrew Harrison: "Say what you like about Jeremy Corbyn, but he's built a mass movement from scratch, energised a party base, got it back to its true values and made it a power in the land. Unfortunately that party is the Liberal Democrats."

Mad for it

AND the satirical website The Daily Gael, which reports on matters Gaelic, has been musing on the news coverage of last week's European elections which showed the map of Britain mainly covered in light blue for the Brexit gains down south while Scotland was almost yellow, voting for the SNP and to stay in the EU. Commented the Daily Gael: If there is one great tragedy coming out of this election it’s that Scotland is gaining a reputation for being sensible and responsible. Our hard-won reputation as full-throttle mad bastards is being tarnished on a global stage."

Read more: 1978: “We’d be better off living in a tent”