On a bender

THINGS that only happen at this time of year. We pass on the concern of young Kim from Brechin on social media, who told her pals: "Looked out the window and the wee wifie next door was lying on the ground. Thought she'd fallen, and near ran out to help her till I realised she was just weeding her garden."


THANKFULLY a good day at Troon yesterday for the annual Glasgow taxi drivers' excursion with deserving kids, with up to 300 decorated taxis and their drivers making it a special day out. By the time the taxis get to Troon you wonder why one or two taxis are merely decorated with bits of string, until you realise that their balloons burst on the way down. We saw a couple of drivers with Donald Trump masks, which seems a cruel way to scare the kids. A taxi driver once told us that for days after the trip any driver who turns up for work in a garish shirt is immediately told by a workmate: "You've missed the outing to Troon. There's no need for fancy dress today."

Backs to wall

READERS of The Herald can be inventive. Norris Christie was on a bus into Glasgow when he picked up a copy of this newspaper which had been discarded by its owner on one of the seats. There was a picture of Boris Johnson at his campaign launch standing at a podium with a sign declaring "Back Boris". Someone had taken the time to take out a pen, draw a line from the sign with an arrow on it pointing to a blank piece of newsprint where they had then neatly written in capitals "Into a prison cell".

In plane view

GROWING old, continued. Says Tim: "Why is it I can somehow remember the lyrics of a song from the seventies that I've probably not heard since then, yet I have to look at a boarding pass at least 20 times in quick succession to simply remember what seat I'm in?"


TALKING of politics, much debate about the TV debate amongst the five Tory leader contestants which didn't really deliver much in the way of new insight. As Times Literary Supplement editor Stig Abell described it: "Big winners from tonight's debate: 1. Theresa May 2. Jeremy Corbyn 3. People doing something else."

Feeling the heat

A BEARSDEN reader gets in touch to tell us: “I took my grandson to a shopping centre toilet and when he was drying his hands in one of their powerful hand-driers I was telling him that in my day the driers were so weak that no matter how long you used them you still left with your hands wet. It was only later I remembered my grandfather telling me about his best friend at school dying of polio so yes, perhaps we didn’t have it so hard growing up after all.”

Let's face it

A GLASGOW reader swears he heard a young woman in his pub the other night declare: "I'm no longer on Facebook" and her pal replaying: "So how do you know when it's your birthday?" It reminds us of a colleague who felt the need to tell us: "Did you know that the most prolific user on Facebook has died? We won't see the likes of him again."

Magic word

A SHAWLANDS reader anticipating the school summer holiday break-up at the end of next week tells us: "I’m not had any formal training in performing magic, but I am able to get my entire family to disappear using the magic word 'chores'."

Read more: 1964: Get back, mounted police caution Beatles fans