Hair-raising

LOS Angeles-based singer/songwriter Sam Morrow was a recent guest on the award-winning Celtic Music Radio show Mike Ritchie On Sunday. After discussing Sam's current album, and hearing him play three great songs on acoustic guitar, Mike asked him about the time he bumped into the American rhythm and blues and gospel singer, actress, and civil rights activist, Mavis Staples, at her 80th birthday party.

Sam recalled the meeting well, revealing that Mavis said of his shoulder-length barnet: “I love your hair, honey.”

Sam: “I love your hair, too.”

Mavis: “I can take it off and let you wear it, if you like.”

Ob-la-di hell

THE new Danny Boyle movie Yesterday features a world that wakes up not remembering who The Beatles were, except for one fella who becomes a star on the back of the Fab Four’s tunes. Says Diary reader John B Henderson: “Any truth in the rumour that Paul McCartney has suggested a sequel about a world that suddenly wakes up and remembers who Wings were?”

PC world

A TOP television writer who shall remain anonymous – don’t tell them your name, Daisy Godwin! – has accused the BBC of creating a favourable climate for Brexit by showing repeats of Dad’s Army. Calling for the show to be banned, Ms Godwin says that even the little arrow pointing towards Europe in the opening animated sequence inspired the Brexit Party’s logo. Unfortunately, as her detractors have pointed out, the logic of that must mean “Mr Hitler” is the EU. And one online commenter fought back with a rendition of “Who do you think you are kidding, Daisy Godwin/If you think Dad’s Army’s done …”

So near yet …

MORE daftness from Martin Morrison, who wanted a 65-in flat screen telly to replace his 32-incher but couldn’t afford it. Then he had an idea: “I moved my chair six feet nearer.”

Truth to Tel

FAMOUS ex-hostage Terry Waite was in Orkney recently to speak at the St Magnus International Festival. Settling into his seat in the audience at a choral concert in Kirkwall’s cathedral, the former Archbishop of Canterbury’s peace envoy was heard to laugh loudly as he looked through the programme and exclaimed to his neighbour: “That one could have been written especially for Boris Johnson!”

Of course, our man in the pews couldn’t be sure to which item Big Tel was referring. But he does tell us the first piece the choir was due to perform was a setting by Julia Wolfe of the words, “Guard my tongue from evil and my lips from speaking deceit”. Yep, sounds like a contender.

Sock of ages

MANY people wish Boris would put a sock in it but, instead, he appears to have put his foot in it with his hosiery. Top political observers noted the Tory leadership candidate had worn the same socks three days running and that they were looking distinctly, er, worn.

At a press conference to address the crisis, Boris’s spokesman said his man owned several pairs of the socks, purchased at the British Museum – where most people buy their clothes, right enough – and featuring an image of a 7th century BC Mesopotamian emperor called Ashurbanipal who wanted to be “king of the world”. One imagines Boris’s weary advisers telling him: “That’s another fine Mesopotamia you’ve got us into.”