HELLOS are great, aren’t they?
Hellos are cheerful beginnings and happy welcomes and generally, they make you feel good.
But goodbyes? Not so much.
A goodbye is a horrible thing, mostly. Witness Theresa May’s angry-teary departure, or that scene in Sex in the City when Carrie is dumped by Post-It note (‘I’m sorry, I can’t. Don’t hate me”) or any number of angst-ridden cheerios on Strictly. It’s awful, saying goodbye.
I discovered recently there is a thing called ghosting. Considered very rude by some but accepted by many, it is the act of taking your leave from a party or night-out or even a business get-together, without saying goodbye.
No need for protracted, painful let’s-do-this-agains or awkward hugs – you simply, effortlessly disappear.
One minute you are at the bar or mingling with colleagues or friends and the next, you have left the building. One minute there, in the thick of it; the next minute, gone.
For our 11-year-old, leaving his primary school behind as the summer holidays get underway this week, has meant a lot of goodbyes. Goodbye to his headteacher, who has been part of his life since he toddled into the playgroup, teddy bear in hand, believing for all the world he was starting school; to the school cook, who made him her best fish and chips especially on his last day, just for him; to his class teachers, who taught him algebra and poetry and responsibility and resilience; and to his friends, who taught him lots more besides.
For us too, leaving behind a wee, rural school which relies on parents to get involved, it has been a hard wrench. When our older son started there, we turned up and mucked in like everyone else, helping out at the summer fairs and taking our turn on the tombola; then, gradually, it became about going to meetings and organising events and helping out on trips. (Only when you work as closely as we did with the staff of a small school do you realise just how far above and beyond teachers go for the pupils in their care.)
It was hard work, sometimes frustrating, but our merry little band of families made it work. ‘Parental engagement’, to give it its proper name, is generally considered a good thing for young students, boosting attainment and social skills and reducing absenteeism.
New adventures await for the 11-year-old, and he is looking forward to high school, but after all the presents had been swapped and the tears mopped up, it was still hard to say goodbye.
As some of the new families began to plan summer holiday meet-ups and chatted about what the new term will hold, we gathered up his art folder, battered old gym shoes and assorted primary school memories, and headed for the car.
One minute there, in the thick of it; the next minute, gone.
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