Star role

WE asked for your stories about France following Bastille Day, and a Livingston reader tells us: "On July 14, 2006, having spent a fortnight's holiday in Nice, we made our way to the taxi rank for a taxi to the airport. On opening the door of what I thought was a taxi, I was faced with a five-star general who was waiting to take the Bastille Day parade on the Promenade des Anglais. I don't know which of us was more surprised. Unknown to us, the taxi rank had been moved around the corner for the big day."

Health warning

PEOPLE are still discussing how the Amazon Echo will give medical advice culled from NHS websites. Says Rab Livingstone: "I just asked Alexa where my appendix is. She said, 'Your appendix is in the lower right side of your abdomen'. This is clearly wrong. My appendix is in a bin outside a hospital on the outskirts of Glasgow."

Advice that sucks

FOR those who remember their American political history, business school psychologist Adam Grant in the States asked on social media: "What’s the worst career advice you’ve ever received?" None other than Monica Lewinsky replied: "I was told an internship at the White House would be amazing on my resumé."

Any other memorable bad advice?

Limited edition

WE asked about your memories of the moon landing, and Brian Collie recalls: "I had the busiest newspaper pitch in Priesthill at the corner of Peat Road and Priesthill Road. I used to sell about 200 Records and 100 Expresses each day from 6am to 8.45am. On the Monday following the moon landing I slept in as I’d been up all night and 14-year-olds need a good 12 hours, as we can all understand. I trooped up to collect my papers at 9.30 am and there was not a soul in sight, so took them all home and sold one to my mammy and one to the wee woman next door.

"When the paper man came to collect my spares, he was apoplectic and shouted that this was the biggest story of our lifetimes and I 'only sold two ******* papers!'"

Poles apart

YES Glasgow was awash with neon-clad youngsters enjoying the TRNSMT music festival at Glasgow Green. Older readers who used to go to festivals might recognise the memories of one young girl, Laurie, who put on social media: "To be honest, isn’t the whole point of TRNSMT getting so s***-faced you don’t remember any of the acts, and have to leave before the headliner comes on? If not, I don’t think Jane and I did it right."

And another young girl commented: "The highlight of my TRNSMT was walking into a pole on the way home."

Open and shut

A READER wonders if it was deliberate, when she was watching the television show Rip-Off Britain yesterday, that the announcer explained: "We asked Amtrak what had happened to Helen’s luggage, but they told us that they can’t comment on individual cases.”

Needs a holiday

TALKING about holidays, one West of Scotland worker not having the Glasgow Fair off, exclaimed: "We are short-staffed and stressed. I'm busy and I've just had to listen to a member of the team complain at me for 10 minutes as he couldn't book a holiday in August because other members of the team got there first – before telling me he doesn't actually want to book time off in August!"


TODAY'S piece of daftness comes from a reader with good horticultural knowledge who tells us: "I lost my job as a florist due to my terrible Impatiens."

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