Bucket list

GOOD to see the European Women's Under-19 football championships taking place in Scotland just now, although it can throw up cultural differences. As Frances McKissock in Clarkson tells us: "I was transporting a party of different nationalities including Georgian, Swedish and Norwegian delegates to Edinburgh and I wanted to ensure they knew where to meet the driver picking them up. 'You can tell the next driver that you dropped us off here, next to the statue of the little troll,' said one of the delegates. 'That’s not a troll,' said I, trying not to smile too much. 'That’s Oor Wullie'."

Playing around

OUR tales of bad golf shots reminded entertainer and enthusiastic golfer Andy Cameron: "I played with former Open champion Sandy Lyle in the Glasgow Classic at Haggs Castle once and after several nervous practice swings I decided to shut my eyes and let fly. 'Can you see it Sandy?' I enquired. 'See it? I can reach it,' said Sandy.

"And my good friend Jim Cullen who owned The Montrose Bar asked me as I came into the clubhouse at Cathkin Braes after a medal how I got on. I shook my head and declared, '98, a bad day at Black Rock'. 'Ye must have putted well' was his less-than-sympathetic observation."

Carpeted

AS we enter the second week of the Glasgow Fair, Gordon Casely recalls Fair Fridays of the past when drink was sometimes taken. It still sticks in his mind that one Fair Friday in the seventies he was the passenger in a Morris Marina birling along University Avenue in Glasgow's west end after a trip to the Halt Bar when they suddenly encountered two lads crossing the road carrying a lengthy rolled-up carpet. Not sure if the car could stop on time, the two lads merely lifted it higher above them and the car sped under the carpet. "I never quite recovered from that, so hence my return soonest to home pastures in north-east Scotland," says Gordon.

Questionable

AS we await Boris Johnson becoming Prime Minister it seems not everyone is a fan. As journalist Nick Cohen points out: "Until now, the Prime Minister with the shortest period in office was George Canning – 119 days from April 12 to August 8, 1827. If Johnson falls before November 19, he will become what he deserves to be – the answer to a pub quiz question."

Shirty

IRISH bookies Paddy Power are to sponsor Motherwell – and will deliberately not put their name on the jersey as part of their Save Our Shirts campaign which backs fans who don't like company logos spoiling football tops. Anyway, the company has produced a video announcing their sponsorship in which it says that Scots can be very poetic and gives two examples from Twitter. First, a Perry Sloan who says: "When you push a pull door and the person behind says, 'You need to pull'. Aye cheers lad, sure my next plan was to start lifting from the bottom."

And a Ryan King who remarked: "Just seen a bird shouting at her bairn to pull his pants on, then pointed at me saying, 'Look, the man's gonna steal your willy.' What? No am no!"

So not that poetic, then.

Oscar mike golf

TALKING of social media, we liked the comment from a young woman named Chloe who passes on: "Still canny get over the fact a boy at work said 'Y for young team' to a customer when he was spelling something out using the phonetic alphabet."

Mooning

WE end our Moon landing memories with a Glasgow reader who tells us: "I'm still in my forties so I was not happy when my son asked if I watched the Moon landing. I couldn't stop myself from telling him: 'Obviously not as it's still up there'."

Read more: 1988: Leonard Bernstein and Jonathan Miller in Glasgow