Turfed out

GREAT to see Ireland's Shane Lowry out celebrating his Open Championship win by taking the famous Claret Jug with him to the pub – makes a change from American winners having one glass of Budweiser before getting on their private jet. We also liked his lovely old gran being interviewed on Irish television and recalling: "’I remember his grandfather, after he won the Mulling Scratch Cup, saying: 'Get out there and bring me in a bucket of turf'. He said: 'You won't see Tiger Woods bringing in turf'. He thought he was Tiger Woods when he won the Mulling Scratch Cup! Ah great days."

Put it there

TALKING of golf, an Ayrshire reader emails: "A woman here in Troon was taking her first golf lesson. She asked the instructor, 'I was just wondering, is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?' 'P-u-t-t is correct,' he told her. 'P-u-t means to place something where you want it. P-u-t-t means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing'."

What planet you on

WE ended our Moon landing stories, but a reader decides to remind us of the Moon night club on Sauchiehall Street – it was after my time as I knew it as the White Elephant. Anyway, although it has closed, you can still read reviews of it on Yelp where a woman named Adele left the memorable comment: "Worst nightclub around. The clientele was a sleazy mix of lecherous old men and mini-skirt-wearing minors, who seemed to be getting along famously. When I was approached and asked if I had a boyfriend by a man older than my dad, I turned on my heel and left immediately."

Any other Glasgow night club memories?

Waiting game

A READER declares: "My grandchildren love hearing stories of when I was growing up in the sixties – roller skates you had to tie on to your shoes, disappearing all day without your folks worrying, sweets from the penny tray. So I told them next time I'm looking after them I'll treat them to a sixties experience. They don't know I'll go to the pub for a pint and leave them sitting outside with an Irn Bru and a packet of crisps."

Getting a buzz

SOME good weather around the last couple of days. A Knightswood reader tells us: "Have just let my neighbour know that I'm going to sit outside and read for a while. Just to help him be on time with the hedge cutters."

Dust-up

SAW one of these pointless social media questions where someone asked: "If I were to break into your house and steal what is on top of your refrigerator, what am I getting?" A Jerry Edwards from Glasgow merely replied: "Dust. Help yourself."

Naming ceremony

GROWING old, continued. Can imagine a few folk will sympathise with writer and stand-up David Baddiel who revealed: "Sometimes when my memory fails me now with names, I just decide to say the name that my brain is suggesting to me as its best attempt, out loud. The other day whilst trying to tell my wife something about artist Grayson Perry I said, 'Oh you know... Bunty Chudley.”

Ring to it

TODAY'S piece of whimsy comes from Victoria Sofia, who declares: "Fun date idea – put a fake diamond ring in your dessert and act like your date proposed. Men love that."

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