Picture this

THE summer holidays end for most schools next week and Facebook will no doubt be flooded with pictures of youngsters at the family doorstep in their school uniforms. Looking back at previous Diary stories on the return to school we remember one Glasgow reader who realised his son, going into Primary Six, was getting older when he stopped him at the door and said he wanted to take his picture, as he has done on previous years. But this time his son just brushed past him, held up his hand, and said: "Not a good time."

Prison break

NOT every child is keen to go back. One Glasgow grandfather told us that his grandson argued with his mother that he had been going to school for three years, and that was enough for him. Said our reader: "My daughter-in-law gently explained he had to go back. If he didn't she would be taken away to jail for not sending him.

"To which he replied, 'For how long?'"

Gone to blazes

A PRIMARY school teacher once told us about the first day back when a young lad put his hand up and said: "Please, miss, can I go and get my new pencils from my blazer?" So she sent him off to the cloakroom, but was worried when there was no sign of him after 10 minutes, and no sign of him in the cloakroom. Eventually he arrived back at the classroom, and when she asked where he had been he explained: "Miss, my blazer was at home."

Doing time

ENTERTAINER Andy Cameron once told us he could clearly remember his first day at school and recalled: "Farie Street Primary (don't let the name fool you, we got one holiday a year on Al Capone's birthday). The boy next to me screamed from the first bell, 'I want to go home'. After an hour I offered some guidance. 'Shut yer face,' says I. 'We get hame at 12'. 'No we don't,' says torn face,'we're here 'til we're fifteen'."

Behave yourself

A LANARKSHIRE reader was once puzzled when his young nephew returned from his first day back at school and told his mum he didn't have to go to school the next day. Knowing there could not be a day off that soon they asked him for further information. 'Teacher said that if we were going to behave like that tomorrow then we needn't bother coming,' he cheerfully replied.

That'll teach him

A HERALD news story about parents being fined for taking their children off school during term time reminded a retired teacher: "When I was teaching back in the 1970s there were pupils who you hoped would be taken on holiday during term time."

Nailed it

A NEWTON Mearns reader once observed: School kids are obviously a lot more glam than we were. Sign seen outside Clarkston shop this week, 'Back To School – Acrylic Nail Extensions, £18'."

Going ape

DURING a previous school break a Dundee reader told us: "Overheard my neighbour saying to her son, 'you've been off school for only two days and I'm already done with this'."

And a reader felt sorry for the mother taking her young children into Glasgow by bus during the school holidays who passed the time by starting a rhyming game. "I'll go first," she said. "Cat." "Mat," replied one child. "Your turn," said his mum. "Gorilla," said the child, and our reader watched as the mother's face frowned in speechlessness.

Aw petal

A READER was in a west end of Glasgow florists when the assistant asked the woman in front buying some beautiful flowers if they were for something special. "Yes," she replied. "It's for me to celebrate the children going back to school."