LITTLE Richard, who died at the weekend, was revered as one of the original rock and rollers. Being a generous chap, he was equally willing to compliment fellow musicians, such as Glasgow group The Bluebells, whom Richard met backstage on 1980s television show The Tube. Eyeing the band approvingly, he said: “You boys remind me of The Beatles with your nice tight trousers.”

Of course, he could have said they reminded him of The Beatles because of their massive potential and spectacular songs. But it was nice of him to notice the legwear, all the same.

Just kidding?

GOOD news! Reader Danny Martin’s mother once told him she didn’t have a favourite child. Bad news… Danny’s an only child.

Potty putting plan

OUR run of golfing tales continues. Mitch Cooper was on the course with a chum and was struggling to hole out. Mitch’s friend noted there was a nearby path, with a manhole on it. He suggested they could lift the cover to discover whether Mitch would have greater success with a larger hole. Our reader merely snorted and continued with his game. Though one week later he discovered outside his front door a manhole cover, tied with a red ribbon.

“Nobody owned up to putting it there,” says Mitch. “But I have my suspicions.”

Colourful question

QUIZ time. What’s red and smells like blue paint?” asks Nicola Munro. “Red paint.”

Bum deal

WE recently mentioned Queen guitarist Brian May tore his buttock muscles in a freak gardening accident. Reader Paul McCabe informs us he once suffered a similar injury. His wife diagnosed it undoubtedly occurred as a result of him lounging on the sofa. “She archly predicted my middle finger and thumb would also get injured,” says Paul, “from snapping my fingers whenever I wanted her to get me a cup of tea.”

Brainy boozer

WORKING in a bar a while back, reader Pete Bryson informed a wobbly fellow he had probably had enough booze for the night. Pointing upwards, the wobbly fellow said: “Is that the ceiling?” Pete said it was. The wobbly fellow then pointed downwards. “Is that the floor?” he said. Again Pete could find no fault with the statement.

“So not only have I proved I’m in complete charge of my famucles… facumoles... faculties,” said the wobbly fellow. “But I’m also a sure bet to win Mastermind.”

Dissing deity

MOTHERHOOD. It’s so wonderful… ish. “My teenage son treats me like a god,” says Jane Byrne. “He acts like I don’t exist, until he wants something.”

Not having a ball

DAFT joke time. Why has Cinderella never been signed by a football team?” asks Lisa Barr. “Because she always runs away from the ball.”