IN historical TV drama Outlander, actor Grant O’Rourke plays a rough Highland warrior in the times of the Jacobite rising. An excellent marksman, he’s also deadly with a dirk.

But can the bold thespian handle himself equally well in real life?

A certain lollipop lady he recently clashed with thinks not. When Grant attempted to cross the road, she ordered him to halt while she pressed the traffic-light button. Together they waited for the green man.

“I was fuming,” says Grant, who is 41. “I'm a big boy, I can cross the road by myself.”

He should think himself lucky. At least the kindly lollipop lady didn’t hold his hand.

Chocs away

AS B. Dylan Esq once pointed out, the times they are a-changin’. And not always for the better. Reader Faye Chisholm says: “I’m old enough to remember when Christmas bubbles referred to the extra large bar of Aero my hubby always bought me for the festive season.”

Fruitful pursuit

“I LIKE to talk to people about the benefit of dried grapes,” says reader Tom Stevens. “I’m all about raisin awareness.”

Kid’s stuff

NICOLA Sturgeon has asked youngsters to come up with a picture representing kindness to use for her Christmas card this year.

We’ve been helping out, assuming most kids have more important things to do with their precious time (Such as staring at their phones from morning ‘til night).

Reader Ken Ridley suggests a picture of Nicola herself, brandishing a cattle prod, which she uses to guide a long line of her fellow citizens into a series of voting booths (Nicola’s cattle prod jabs and jolts in a lovingly gentle manner, of course. Kindness… always kindness).

A speech bubble emanating from the First Minister’s mouth reads: “Git movin’ folks. Nae reason tae dawdle. This is oany yer third referendum o’ the day.”

Bricking it

OUR readers continue outraging us with cruel jibes about people of a diminutive stature. In the early 1980s a small friend of Richard Gault claimed to be a hod carrier for Lego. He even got a donkey jacket made up with the toy company’s name on the back.

Apparently this was only short-term employment. The chap improved his qualifications and became a test pilot for Airfix.

Timely tunes

MORE Christmas songs to suit modern sensibilities. David Donaldson suggests carol singers should belt out the words: "I saw three folk who didn't comply."

Boxing clever

AN inspired idea from reader Bruce Johnson. “The Discovery Channel should be broadcast from a different frequency every day,” he says.