Rabbiting on

ENERGETIC Diary correspondent Laura Hodgson decided to take her 12-year-old granddaughter for a vigorous stroll up to the summit of Arthur’s Seat. While they were walking, our reader related the history of the famous Edinburgh landmark, explaining that some scholars believe the site’s curious name refers to King Arthur, that feisty fellow who once owned a pointy implement called Excalibur.

“So it’s named after an imaginary character?” said Laura’s granddaughter. “If those are the rules, it might as well be called Bugs Bunny’s Seat.”

Smooth(ie) operator

SEARCHING in the kitchen for something tasty to drink, reader Janet Allinson's husband stumbled upon a bottle of tomato sauce in the fridge.

“I could put a straw in this and drink it, I suppose,” he said, adding: “After all, tomatoes are a fruit. Which makes this a fruit smoothie.”

Boy oh boy

EXHAUSTED parent Karen Wilkinson says: “Silence is golden. Unless you’re the mother of boys. In that case, silence is suspicious.”

John Street jam

MANY of our readers have told us they were sad to learn that Strathclyde Uni’s legendary student union is moving from its long term home of 90 John Street. Those "ten floors of fun" were a rites of passage for many a sozzled scholar. Ken Bailey recalls once ending a night there with a flatmate who became rather hysterical on the wobbly walk home.

“Jeezo, I’ve got the hiccups,” said this booze-addled chap in a shaky voice.

“Don’t sweat it,” said Ken. “It’s only hiccups.”

“Yeah, but what if they’re terminal hiccups?” said the chum, his eyes awash with tears of terror.

Philosopher's tone

AS we mentioned yesterday, the Diary is scornful of those who happily skip through life in a frivolous and carefree manner. We prefer to stride down the road of enlightenment in our never ending quest for knowledge and wisdom.

As does reader Bill Conway, who says: “In my life I’ve always been a follower of the Greek philosopher Mediocrates, who famously said: ‘Meh… good enough'.”

Liar, liar

ANOTHER occasion made awkward by inappropriate musical accompaniment. Isobel Frize from Hyndland was on the phone to an insurance company, and had been put on hold, when the song Little Lies by Fleetwood Mac came on with its memorable lyrics: “Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies…”

“I wasn’t convinced of the wisdom of that advice,” says Isobel.

Fishy story

NATURAL history correspondent David Shaw gets in touch to tell us that the swordfish has no natural predators.

“Except for the penfish,” he adds, most authoritatively.

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