Labouring… or lazing?

THE news that Scotland is to trial a four-day working week, without any wage reduction, doesn’t impress Jarvis Fisher, who points out that an even more radical idea is currently being attempted in England.

He says: “From what I hear of life in Number 10 Downing Street, Boris Johnson is personally trialling a zero-day working week, without loss of pay.”

Our reader adds: “It seems to be working out spiffingly for BoJo, though perhaps not for the rest of the nation.”

Testing his metal

BOXING fan Jimmy Sitwell once worked in an Aberdeen gym, helping to train young fighters. One teenage scrapper was awarded the seemingly impressive nickname of the Horseshoe.

One might imagine this was because he packed a powerful punch, making his opponents feel like they had been wacked on the jaw by a boxing glove packed with a solid hunk of metal.

This was not the case, says Jimmy, who explains: “When this young bloke got knocked down – which was often – he curled up, whimpering, on the canvas, making him look like your average horseshoe.”

Mac mogul

“IF you got a job running Old Macdonald’s farm, would that make you the CIEIO?” wonders reader Dan Burton.

Bay City best

WHILE Sarah Peel was clearing out rubbish in her loft, she stumbled upon some old pop magazines from the 1970s. Flicking through one mag, she came across a missive in the letters page comparing Scotland’s Bay City Rollers to the Beatles.

This letter grandly and authoritatively opined: “The Tartan Five are definitely better than the Fab Four. The Rollers are talented, good-looking and have great personalities. What more can you ask?”

Our reader was impressed by this knowledgeable comment, and says: “I’m now searching my old magazines to see if I can find a letter claiming Sydney Devine was better than Johnny Cash.”

Mad-Moves Mike

THE Diary continues to guess which tune enticed light-footed politician Michael Gove onto the dancefloor in an Aberdeen nightclub.

When he isn’t gyrating with wild abandon, Gove is Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster. Which is why Stevie Campbell from Hamilton believes he must have been jiggling along to Musical Youth’s 1980s anthem… Pass the Dutchie.

Tarnished tome

BROWSING in a charity shop, reader Gordon Murray spotted an ancient book titled: A Guide To Surgical Procedures.

Our reader adds: “Perhaps not surprisingly the appendix was missing.”

His number’s up

“I USED to sit next to a boy who spent all day counting,” says reader Barry Clarke. “I wonder what he’s up to now?”