Why Glasgow travellers are disappointed by the statue of limitations

MOST people arrive at Glasgow’s Central Station to catch a train, though the occasional person would rather go on a spiritual journey. At least we assume this is the case. How else to explain the appearance in the station of a huge statue named Beacon Of Hope, which portrays a figure with its arms thrust ecstatically upwards.

Reader Dan Reid was feeling equally ecstatic when he spotted the exalted image, though not because of its optimistic message to mankind.

“I thought it was advertising a nearby savoury snack stall where I could buy a treat for my train journey home,” says Dan. “Imagine my disappointment when I re-read the sign and realised it wasn’t called Bacon Of Hope.”


No silver lining

OUR more observant Glasgow readers may have spotted a little shindig called COP26 is taking place in the city. The Diary, fearful that nobody would notice this humble event, has been trying to promote it as best we can.

On Saturday Richard Broomhall spotted a procession of climate change protesters carrying a silver birch tree along Buchanan Street.

The group handed him a flyer explaining its campaign against the destruction of this venerable plant.

“I wonder what the flyer was made from,” says Richard. “Hopefully, not silver birch.”


Sweet turns sour

A DIARY tale about a chap who was far too fond of the contents of his fridge reminds Gordon Fisher, from Stewarton, of his lady love, who made a disparaging comment about Gordon’s 
waist size.

Our reader countered by claiming he merely looked as though he enjoyed eating sweets. Gordon’s other half dealt a knockout blow with the following withering riposte: “Darling, it looks like you enjoy eating 
three-piece suites.”


The name game

TANGLE-TONGUED Colin Robertson, from Bearsden, has been struggling to pronounce 
the name of the Celtic manager, Ange Postecoglou, since his appointment some months ago.

Our reader has now resorted to referring to him as “pot o’ glue”. 

“A nickname that I hope will stick,” says Colin. 


Romance cools

COP26 continued. There have been many amusing placards carried by global warming protesters. Our favourite was one held aloft by a young lady that read: “The planet is hotter than my boyfriend.” 

Bad news for the planet… and the boyfriend.


Flaming good meal

WE are discussing the impeccable culinary skills of Scots. Russell Smith, from Largs, has a friend who always knows when his tea is ready… the smoke alarm goes off.


Classical cock-up

“NOT knowing Greek mythology is my Achilles Elbow,” sighs reader Cheryl McDonald.