Family fracas

BATHGATE actor David Tennant seems like a personable fellow, with a goofy grin for most occasions. (Apart from those times when he plays a baddy, when the goofy grin is replaced by a maniacal grin. That’s what you call range.)

Though it seems that his easy going ways turn into Bathgate bampottery when it comes to family relationships. For we hear that David has been fighting his 18-year-old son, Ty, with the younger combatant taking a swing at daddy with a baseball bat.

Thankfully it was while the two chaps were filming a new version of Around the World In 80 Days, where David plays the hero and his son has a minor role as a thug.

“Lots of family dynamics were played out that day!” chuckles Tennant Snr.

Hot… or not?

VISITING the West Highland resort of Mallaig, reader Gordon Phillips and his wife went searching for lunch.

Outside one local hostelry a sign read: ‘Warm welcome, and we have a coal fire in the bar.’

It being a chilly day, such promises were enticing.

On entering the establishment, the couple saw no sign of a cheerfully crackling fire, though the publican helpfully gestured to a corner of the room, where there was indeed a fireplace, containing lumps of cold coal.

He then pointed out that his sign made no mention of the fire being lit.

Chummy charms

THE doorbell of reader Mavis Coulter rang. When she answered the intercom a cheerful voice trilled: “Hi! It’s the postie!”

Mavis was delighted.

“Professional people would be treated with greater courtesy,” she claims, “if they all introduced themselves in this chummy manner. Wouldn’t it be lovely to visit your accountanty, doctory and dentisty?”

Gunner and punner

FIFE comedian Richard Pulsford says: “It's thought that a chaplain from the Royal Artillery, who turned up at Old Trafford this morning on the only carthorse available, is being interviewed for the manager's job.”

Holy gunner, sole shire?

“No,” says Richard. “He's the one who was sacked.”

Distressed by Diary

THE wife of reader John Mulholland complains he spends too much time corresponding with this fine column.

“I think she’s Diary intolerant,” sighs John.

Tiny terrors

ACTOR Douglas Henshall’s 4-year-old has now reached the grand old age of five. Which resulted in his house being overrun by partying small people.

“They have revolutionised every room,” shudders Douglas. “Sometimes you just have to stand back, applaud the sheer inventiveness of the carnage.”


“MY secret is I’m addicted to seaweed,” admits reader Bernard Lloyd. “I’m seeking kelp.”