Broken biker

THAT resplendent musical of revolutionary fervour, Les Misérables, is currently being staged at Glasgow’s Theatre Royal.

Reader Mary Fielding was in the audience and sat next to a burly chap with a grizzly beard and numerous tattoos on his arms. He looked like the sort of fellow who would be happier straddling a Harley-Davidson than attending a night of musical theatre. Mary concluded that his wife or girlfriend had dragged him along to the production.

“Then I noticed tears rolling down his cheeks during an emotional bit,” says Mary. “I guess he really was a musical theatre fan. Or perhaps he was just missing his Harley-Davidson.”

Game gal

WE hear that actress Jane McCarry, who played Isa in Still Game, didn’t cover herself in glory while watching a recent episode of TV quiz Mastermind. Apparently she only got two questions right in one of the specialist subject rounds.

Which doesn’t sound too embarrassing. Until you discover that the specialist subject happened to be… Still Game.

Woody wrath

THOUGHT for the day from reader Bob Pennington, who says: “Paper cuts are a tree's final moment of revenge.”

Movie massacre

THE Diary prefers to eschew trifling matters in order to study the bigger picture, namely the future of life on this planet.

Ian Noble from Carstairs Village says: “Given the problem of an ever-increasing world population, I reckon the only solution is for Word War III, but this time fought solely by pensioners.”

The Diary is intrigued by this idea, though concludes that it is rather harsh on elderly folk.

Our alternative suggestion would be for World War III to only be fought by those people who say: “Don’t worry, I’m not going to spoil the movie for you by revealing how it ends.”

Then they reveal how it ends.

Job jabber

JOB advert of the day comes from a chap on social media, who states: “I'm working on something exciting and would love to hear from Scots actors, directors, musicians, designers, drag artists, fire-eaters...”

The Diary hates to jump to conclusions, but we’re guessing this chap isn’t launching a new accountancy firm.

Back in time

MUSIC fan Rod Simpson told his teenage grandson that he had been watching the new TV documentary about the Fab Four, ‘The Beatles: Get Back.’

His grandson merely shrugged his shoulders and said: “Where’s it showing, The History Channel?”

“I’ve never felt so ancient,” sighs Rod.

Money matters

A FINANCIAL query from reader Ken Davis, who says: “Why is it called bribe and not moneypulate?”

Read more: An inflated opinion of Lionel Messi