I HAVE a rather unusual question to ask, but go with me on this. What do you consider to be the most damaging word in the English language? Well, I think I have the answer. It is a seemingly innocuous, everyday word that
has the subtle ability to inflict serious psychological harm and feelings of inadequacy.
Here’s a clue. Its power lies in the way it is often used to imply common sense or sound reason, while disguising its real intention which can be to mask prejudice, ignorance and hatred. Any guesses what this supercharged word of hurt is? The Exocet missile of our mother tongue that can leave devastation in its wake and even destroy lives? In my humble opinion, the word is “normal”.
According to the dictionary, “normal” is defined as “conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected”. At its most basic, functional level it can be deployed as a useful term for technical or scientific purposes, which is all well and good. In this form it is lifeless and practical.
But words are like sentient beings that can take on many identities, inflicting their greatest injury when used to make ill-informed judgments. As a father of an autistic child, I am aware of “normal” lurking in the shadows, cunningly hiding from full view but often showing itself in a feigned smile or discreet look away. It might not be uttered or even intentional, but nuanced and therefore much more effective at cutting to the core. The silent assassin that is normality.
Meanwhile, as the gender and cultural wars play out, what is considered “normal” is the battle ground upon which their conflict is fought. Its subjective nature leaves it open to interpretation. A pliable term used to justify each camp’s argument or a weapon to shoot down opponents.
The beauty of our language is its versatility, but when used carelessly, words can act like coronavirus, their meaning constantly mutating in order to impair their intended victim.
The high expectations set by normality permeate so many aspects of our lives that they often creep in unnoticed, such as the material idealism, ridiculous body shape perfection or ephemeral friendships bombarding us on TV and social media.
However, there is scope for hope. When the power of “normal” is used as a force for good it can be hugely beneficial. The phrase “new normal” that emerged during the pandemic described the change in assumptions we all had to make in order to protect ourselves and each other from a deadly virus. What was old “normal” behaviour was understood as no longer acceptable by the public, who in the main responded by wearing face masks, using hand sanitisers and so on.
Read more: Sleaze row: Boris Johnson: A liar, a cheat and a cad, but still hugely popular. Why?
Indeed, in Sally Rooney’s book Normal People the word was turned on its head. The seeming unconventionality and uniqueness of the characters growing up was in itself just normal life.
But for me, the inimitable Frank Zappa summed up the futility of normal best when he said: “Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.” And who could argue with that.
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