IT’S the heartwarming innocence of children in an audience that make pantomime such a treat. Gordon Fisher, from Stewarton, was enjoying this year’s production of Aladdin at the SEC Armadillo. In the row in front was a small boy of about seven, with his grandparents, who was obviously at his first panto. He didn't really grasp the concept of audience participation at first, but after some encouragement from gramps and gran he soon got the hang of it.

When the house was booing with all its might at the entrance of villainous Abanazar, played by actor Sanjeev Kohli, the wee boy, full of gusto, shouted: "P**s off!"

Gramps and gran looked around ashamedly, then shrank down in their seats.

Plodding post

GLASGOW writer Deedee Cuddihy received a postcard at the weekend from friends who are currently on a road trip in America. It was date stamped September 23.

“Given that it took approximately 10 weeks to get here,” says Deedee, “I thought it was somewhat ironic that my chums sent it from a place in South Dakota called Rapid City.”

Food for thought

THINKING about how to become more prosperous in 2022, reader Charles Davies has come to a decision. “I've decided to open an Elvis-themed steak restaurants in Glasgow,” he says. “It’ll be for people who love meat tender.”

Present perfect

CHRISTMAS will soon be upon us, and it’s a double celebration for reader Willie Ferguson whose birthday is also at this time of year, meaning his wife likes to get him a wee extra gift. This year she says the prezzie happens to suit Willie’s personality to a T.

“I’m not sure what she’s getting at,” says an outraged Willie, for tucked in a bag he spied a copy of The Herald Diary’s latest book.

Which is, of course, titled… Twisted Tails and Nut Jobs.

Killer comment

A DIARY tale of wedded woes reminds Russell Smith, from Largs, of the couple, married for 60 years, who declared they had never contemplated divorce.

Murder? Most certainly.

But never divorce.

Madness of crowds

THIS is the season of feverish shopping sprees and making merry, though Jim Hamilton, from Carmunnock, has decided to avoid the hurly and ditch the burly.

Instead, he has become cool, calm and contemplative by compiling a series of Zen teachings, which include: “Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.”

Taking a powder

CURIOUS reader Brian Chrystal asks: “With the discovery of so much cocaine residue at Westminster, do we now know what a "three-line whip" really means?”