A DIARY mention of a popular Christmas and New Year snack puts John Ferguson from Milngavie in a suspicious mood. “Is it just me,” he says, “or were there no Ferrero Rocher adverts on over the festive period?”

The Diary decided to discover if this was indeed the case, and why it may have happened. Our intrepid team of investigative reporters rushed to the local corner shop to purchase as many Ferrero Rocher as we could carry, before undertaking some scientific analysis.

Intriguingly we discovered that the treat, unwrapped from its gold foil, is ball-shaped with little spikes coating its surface. In other words, it looks like an enlarged version of the Covid atom.

So perhaps Nicola Sturgeon banned Ferrero adverts to prevent confused TV viewers jumping to the conclusion that there was a new chocolatey variant of the disease.

Unfortunately our team couldn’t proceed any further in its investigation. The evidence we so painstakingly accrued inexplicably vanished, while the majority of our reporters stumbled off home with tummy ache.

Worse case scenario

OPTIMISTIC reader Samantha Barnet raised a glass as New Year arrived and said aloud: “2022 has to be better.”

Watching the TV news the following morning, she noted that Tony Blair is to receive a knighthood.

“Okay,” she sighed, “so maybe 2023 will be better…”

Best-laid plans…

ANOTHER optimistic Scot is broadcaster Catriona Shearer. Her plans for this year are:

• Write a book.

• Host own show on radio and TV.

• Lose the three stones gained since first lockdown.

• Be more realistic.

Career crocked

YEARS ago, reader Martin Coe’s boss asked him why he only seemed to get sick on weekdays. “Must be my weekend immune system,” he replied. (And, no, Martin didn’t last long in the job.)

Era of awe

ON New Year’s Day reader Sue Stanley asked her 86-year-old father if he wanted anything from the shops. He replied: “When I was younger I never thought I’d see the day when men walked on the moon and you could buy spuds on the first of January. We truly live in remarkable times.”

Boozy badinage

MANY people’s New Year resolution is to undertake a "dry January", meaning they quit tippling for a month. “I'm definitely not fully off it, but I'll cut down,” reveals Glasgow actor Neil John Gibson, who believes it’s better to merely restrain revelry and have a “moist January”.

Focus on future

“I CHANGED the graphic display on my TV to 1366 x 766,” says reader Pete Kennedy. “It's my New Year resolution.”

Read more: The big benefit of missing out in the pub at New Year