Cup runneth over

JANE McCarry, who played Isa Drennan in TV sitcom Still Game, is in a sporting mood, having been to watch darts being played at the Hydro.

No doubt the athleticism on display was most inspiring, though that isn’t what impressed her the most.

“You get a £1 for every plastic cup you return,” trills the actress gleefully.

She adds: “I made more money than I paid for the ticket! Like taking Barr’s ginger bottles back, was beside masel with joy. Just need to campaign to bring back scrambles at weddings now…”

Cabinet of wonders

AFTER learning that someone paid £7.1m for a manky old shirt worn by Diego Maradona in a kickabout with England back in 1986, the Diary is now trying to figure out if there’s any Scottish football memorabilia that could be offloaded for a similar sum.

Ralph Burns from Shawlands suggests selling the cabinet built to hold our national footy team’s glittering array of trophies.

“We’re bound to get loads of cash for it,” points out Ralph. “There’s minimum wear and tear, just a few cobwebs needing dusted away.”

Just William

THE Diary is thrilled that Ncuti Gatwa is taking over the lead role in Doctor Who. Though some fans of the show are complaining that Ncuti – a graduate of the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland and former Dundee Rep performer – is a tad young to be playing an ancient Time Lord.

On social media one ardent fan of the sci-fi show has the perfect comeback.

Referencing the first chap to play the Doctor, Tom Pullin says: “Ncuti Gatwa is 29 years old, the same age William Hartnell was when he was 29.”

Food for thought

MEDICALLY-MINDED reader Jim Hamilton gets in touch to ask: “What disease did cured ham initially suffer from?”

Woefully wet

MAY has been a maudlin month for the most part, leading reader Barbara Smith's husband to mutter under his breath whilst gazing dolefully out the living room window: “Och, that’s the sort of rain that soaks right through. I’m going to have to buy an umbrella for my umbrella.”

Pretty (silly) Polly

WE continue listing words that describe the activities of parrots. Katherine Hutchison suggests the following…

Monopoly: Only one parrot allowed in the shop at a time.

Polygraph: a representation of the parrot population in a bar chart.

Sticky situation

ENTREPRENEURIAL reader Tony Winchester is hoping to start a business recycling discarded chewing gum. “Just need help getting it off the ground,” he adds.

Read more: So how much would you pay for an Archie Gemmill shirt?