BoJo a-go-go

IF Boris Johnson was the brand-name of a glue it would fly off the shelves. For nothing sticks with greater tenacity than the man who would be king. (Forever. If only his jolly insensitive colleagues in the Tory Party hadn’t insisted on giving him the old heave-ho.)

Scottish comedian Leo Kearse was certainly impressed, this week, by BoJo’s bellicose belligerence in the face of political reality, saying: “I've had Japanese knotweed infestations that were easier to get rid of than Boris Johnson.”


SIPPING a cup of Darjeeling in a café near Edinburgh University campus, reader Helena Douglas overheard one exceedingly posh and dandified student at a nearby table say to his equally foppish chum: ”Well, you know, I’m deeply superficial underneath this shallow exterior I’ve been carefully cultivating for the past few years.”

Brassed off

MANY of our readers care passionately about history, and are deeply disappointed by the philistines they often meet who do not share their interest.

Tony Menzies from Eaglesham says: “It’s disgraceful that even after fifty years, many people have no idea who Neil Armstrong was, let alone what kind of trumpet he played.”

Flight of fancy

IT’S not only history about which our smarty-pants readers hoard a vast repository of knowledge. They are also scientific savants, which might explain why the gang have been devising ‘ologies’ worth studying at university. Gordon McRae informs us that parapsychology is the study of the mentality of people who have a deep need to jump out of a perfectly serviceable aircraft.

Big beastie alert

WE recently published a worrisome photo of a road sign which gave directions to both a nearby nuclear plant and a spider farm.

Our feverish imaginations, doused by too many Marvel movies, started thinking about the monsters that would ensue when a bunch of eight-legged beasties came into contact with the unbridled forces of atomic power.

It seems our idea is not so fanciful. Former Labour MP Sir Brian Donohoe tells us that when he was employed by Hunterston A power station in Ayrshire the spiders found near the reactor were five to six inches in size.

Which is five to six inches larger than any spider has a right to be…

Titters on Taff

THE Diary’s Book Nook recently opened for business, now we’re enthusiastically promoting top tomes worth perusing. Bob Jamieson suggests The History of Welsh Comedians by Dai Llaffin.

Feeling ruff

PET-LOVING reader Wendy Norman recently bought a husky dog. “Now I’ll have to buy him some throat lozenges,” she adds.