Trousers of glory

THE movie Grease was responsible for making an entire generation of British kids unhappy with their humble origins. (The Diary editor being one of them.) Where were our hot-rod cars? Our drive-in movies?

And why, when we studied the bathroom mirror, did we look nothing like Danny or Sandy?

The Diary was sad to hear of the death of Olivia Newton-John, who played Sandy with style and sizzle.

The popular singer and actress had an intriguing family tree. Her grandfather was a Nobel Prize winning physicist while her father was an MI5 officer working on the Enigma project at Bletchley Park.

She also had connections to Scotland, with sister, Rona, born in Edinburgh.

There was another claim to fame of a (slightly) Scottish nature.

Tartan troubadour Rod Stewart has admitted: “Her spandex trousers in Grease were my inspiration for my ‘Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?‘ era.”

Which is almost as historically important as a Nobel Prize winning grandad… though not quite.

Burning fat

A CHUBBY friend of Sally West from Cumbernauld was struggling to lose weight. Exasperated, and feeling rather defeated, she once said to Sally: “My only hope of getting a smoking hot body is cremation.”

O (no) grades

SQA exam results arrived for many school pupils yesterday. Some youngsters will be delighted with their grades. Others? Not so much.

For those poor souls, here’s some inspirational words from Govan poet Jim Monaghan: “I left school with just a handful of O-Grades at 15 years old to start work, and look at me now... a ****ing idiot who is permanently skint.”

Cheesy chit-chat

YOU get a better class of graffiti in Glasgow’s West End, claims David Donaldson, who lives in that salubrious district, and spotted scrawled on Cresswell Lane the message: ‘WINE + CHEESE ANYONE?’

A fellow bon vivant had added a smiley face underneath, along with the message: ‘GO ON THEN!’

Gold griping

IRRITATED Henry McCann says: “I’m fed up hearing Commonwealth Games competitors talking about the sacrifices they make for sport. What do they want – a medal?”

Medical muddle

ONE of the many modern grumbles you hear is that it’s almost impossible to contact a doctor.

Ian Noble from Carstairs Village says: “I phoned our local medical centre… and a doctor answered the call!”

Our reader was so discombobulated he immediately demanded to be put through to a receptionist.

Food fight

“SOME friends were arguing in a pub about the best way to make a toasty,” says reader Kenny Clegg. “So I played Breville’s Advocate.”