OUTRAGEOUS and offensive Glasgow comedian Jerry Sadowitz has been cancelled for being outrageous and offensive.

The Pleasance in Edinburgh dropped a second performance of his act after an initial show shocked some audience members.

The theatre clearly didn’t realise what a Sadowitz gig entails. Which is understandable. After all, he’s only been performing his sick shtick for forty-odd years (Some of them very odd, indeed).

Perhaps the Pleasance management spotted Sadowitz’s top hat and concluded he was a Vaudeville tribute act.

Some comedians and fans have defended the jaundiced jokester. Film maker Paul Sng points out: “Complaining that Jerry Sadowitz is offensive is like moaning that a vindaloo is too spicy.”

In the drink

AN inspirational thought to start the week from reader Nicola Bruce, who says: “That first cup of coffee really wakes you up on a Monday morning. Especially if you spill it on your lap.”

Termination time

THE gentrified geriatric population of Scotland can often be found loafing around on exceedingly large boats during their summer hols.

Occasionally they become concerned they will not survive the experience, reveals reader Willie Gibson.

He tells us the Balmoral cruise ship recently arrived at the Port of Visby in Sweden.

An imposing shed-like edifice came into view on the quayside, and it immediately had the senior citizens on deck gulping nervously.

And the name of the building that inspired such terror? GODSTERMINAL.

Is this a Swedish word meaning Goods Terminal, we wonder. Or perhaps everyone who slips the mortal coil ends up in Sweden

(There are worse options).

Novice a no-no

MUCH refreshed John Hodgart, from Ardrossan, has returned from an enjoyable holiday on Arran, though he admits he will not be recommending the hotel, which was advertising for a new member of staff with the missive: Chef urgently required. No experience necessary.

The Diary hopes such messages don’t become commonplace, especially when it comes to hospitals advertising for new heart surgeons…

Wipe out

A DIARY mention of Andrex toilet roll reminds Peter Mackay, from Kincraig, near Aviemore, of the vicious old days of botty buffing, when the poor posteriors of Scotland had to deal with the dreaded IZAL.

Like a cludgie-based Glesga razor gang, IZAL always cut up rough, leaving its victims begging for mercy.

This toilet paper with teeth did have its plus points.

Says Peter: “It was fundamental for making paper and comb music.”

Amusing meaty musing

CONFUSED reader Laura Jones says: “Is an argument between two vegetarians called a beef?”