Hugh Peebles spotted this personalised plate in Peebles carpark and wonders if the town received an official Diary visit. Alas, no. For the Diary doesn’t own a company car, merely a company Space Hopper. (Which gets rather cosy when our numerous staffPublic THE Queen’s death is particularly sad for those of our readers, such as David Donaldson, who had a family connection.

David’s father, David A Donaldson, was head of Drawing & Painting at Glasgow School of Art, and also the Queen's Painter and Limner in Scotland.

He painted her at Buckingham Palace and often said how charming and witty she was in private, recalling her talent for mimicking people.

Our reader’s favourite insider story about the Queen wasn’t told to him by his father, but someone else who witnessed the scene.

“When the Royals were together at Balmoral it was customary to play games after dinner,” says David.

One evening they decided on Trivial Pursuit. Halfway through, the Queen drew a question card and burst out laughing.

"Here's an easy one," she said. "What was the date of my coronation?"

Lot of bottle

WE recently published a tale about the horrors of salad, which reminds Ruth Bryant of visiting a grubby cafe in Argyle Street, Glasgow, years ago.

Perusing the menu, she ordered a side salad with her main course. She then asked what it contained.

“A wee portion o’ chips,” muttered the waitress.

“That doesn’t sound like a side salad,” said our bemused reader.

“Aye, but it comes wi’ a dod o’ cucumber and a big boatl o’ salad cream,” countered the waitress, triumphantly.


WITH the financial squeeze setting in, our readers are devising ways of saving money. Neil Moore says: “Top tip. Your shampoo will last twice as long if you don’t keep using it on your shoulders.”

Dumpy diver

PLEASANTLY plump reader Mark Patterson once roguishly suggested to his wife that they go skinny-dipping in a local pond.

Scrutinising him, she replied: “With you it would just be dipping.”

Roman around town

DRINKING tales, continued. Brendan Keenan recalls a pal who popped into an off licence in Minard Road, in Glasgow's south side, on his way to a fancy dress party.

He was garbed in his wife’s clean bed sheet, which was meant to be a toga, thus creating the illusion that the chap was an ancient Roman.

He also had a curtain tie-back round his head and sandals from Benidorm.

Having ordered the statutory half bottle and six cans, the assistant whispered: "I've put an extra can in son. I think you're awfy brave."

Basket case

A PHILOSOPHICAL point from reader Belinda Hawkins: “Anyone who advises you never to put all your eggs in one basket is mistaken. It’ll only result in you looking very silly walking round Sainsbury’s.”