As imagined by Brian Beacom

WELL, I do admit it’s been an incredible week. I can’t tell you how many messages I’ve had from abroad, given the incredible result Scotland achieved.

Yes, okay, I was a wee bit downhearted when I realised they were referring to Scotland’s life expectancy figures being the worst in Western Europe.

And there was me thinking I would be planning to build a statue to Lyndon Dykes in our local village. Okay, yes, I know he’s an Aussie really, that we got him under the Granny Rule. But wasn’t William Wallace an Australian too?

But I appreciate that’s not what you want to talk to me about.

You want to know if my head is about to go all Vesuvius on account of Liz Truss’s plans to blow the economy of the UK into tiny little pieces smaller than Holly and Phil’s chances of public forgiveness.

Well, it is. Kwasi Kwarteng has cut taxes, helping those who are even better off than me, while the Bank of England is raising interest rates to crush the fingers of those even thinking about splashing the plastic on a winter holiday in Dubai. What a bonkers paradox.

And of course. Kwarteng and friends – who believe Britain to be a nation of idlers – won’t even consider the thoughts and concerns of the Office for Budget Responsibility.

Believe me, this is a clear example of this government avoiding responsibility, hiding policy detail and being as obtuse as possible. And in reply what I will say to you unequivocally is what I said on Good Morning Scotland yesterday: ‘Let’s have a measured debate about how to stimulate the economy.’

Is that clear and specific enough for you?

But there’s much more about this financial fiasco that’s getting my goat up to Billy Goat Gruff proportions.

That trickle-down effect? If I slurp a glass of Irn-Bru too quickly and it trickles down my best M&S shirt how can that ever be a good thing? And Jo Biden agrees, having suffered from a great deal of trickle-down over the years.

Truss’s plan is all about performative politics.

The taxation strategy is all about fingers and toes crossing, and believe me, this is something the Scottish Government know a great deal about.

But honestly, the people of Scotland deserve better. Our middle classes in particular deserve the chance to pay more taxes than their English equivalents.

Yes, we in government in Scotland like fudge too.

Yes, our recent rent freeze, for example, could be seen to be a little performative.

And, yes, the Fraser of Allander Institute suggests we’ll make the housing crises worse. But who amongst us can resist a bit of fudge? Especially Cadbury’s.

Look, the bottom line is the national debt is predicted to increase by £100bn. We need an independent Scotland to build its own economy and borrow our own way out of trouble.

And if the big Braveheart Aussie helps us beat Ireland tonight the trickle-down will be immense.