Hairy situation
VISITING a swanky hair salon in Glasgow city centre this week, reader Sophie Stirling found herself surrounded by numerous immaculately-maintained mademoiselles enjoying a fine tuning.
One young lady, clearly a student, was waiting her turn in the chair while perusing a psychology book.
The weighty tome was titled Surrounded by Narcissists.
“If she was looking for empirical evidence to reinforce the book’s argument,” says Sophie, “she’d come to the right place.”
Clocking the future
OUR readers are thrilled at how the British economy has fared since being delivered into the calming and reassuring hands of Kwasi Kwarteng.
Those who miss the heady days of summer vacation, with endless jaunts to the fun park, are especially cock-a-hoop. For they can once again experience the dizzying delights of the rollercoaster by watching the pound’s fluctuations and free-falls on the stock exchange.
Reader Ken Payne is particularly enamoured by the concept of trickle-down economics, which he describes thus: “It’s like giving a wealthy banker a free diamond-encrusted Cartier watch. Then, later on, when he spies a tramp starving on the street, the banker can offer to tell him the time.”
Doctor who
AN unsolved mystery, courtesy of Ian Noble from Carstairs Village, who recently heard, and not for the first time, the phrase "just what the doctor ordered".
Says our bamboozled correspondent: “Who is this doctor, and why is he ordering so much?”
Exercising her rights
OUTRAGED reader Linda Clements says: “It’s nine months since I joined the gym, and still no progress. Clearly I’ll have to go down there in person tomorrow, to find out what’s the problem.”
Dodgy delay
GENEROUS to a fault, the Diary is giving its readers writing tips, so they can become the next JK Rowling. (Or if things don’t work out, they can always be the next jakey rolling in the gutter.)
Reader Helen Cook says: “Remember, it’s imperative to always hit your deadline.”
Adds Helen: “I was going to send that piece of advice to the Diary last week, but didn’t get round to it.”
Tedious tome
WE recently published several pieces where our readers attempted to describe famous movies in the most underwhelming way possible.
Alasdair Sinclair suggests we do something similar with literary classics.
For starters, he gives this dull description of a legendary yarn: "Returning war veteran takes the scenic road home."
The story is… Homer's Odyssey.
Earache explained
EDUCATED Diary correspondent Dan Bennett is a scholar of scrapping, and says: “Of all the martial arts, karaoke inflicts the most pain.”
Read more from the Diary: So what's so wizard about Oz?
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