Sci-fi guys

THE Diary rarely strays into the field of science fiction. The present-day world is discombobulating enough without adding android budgerigars and hover-buses to the mix.

But we are willing to make an exception on this occasion, for Gavin Weir from Ochiltree has important news to impart. (Actually it’s just a baseless rumour, though it’ll do until some genuinely important news gravitates towards our desk.)

“Is it true,” says Gavin, “that the next Star Trek movie is being filmed in Scotland? And that Douglas Ross and Alister Jack are auditioning for the role of Klingons, being experts at, well, clinging-on?”

The run around

TV writer Paul Abbott, who worked on crime drama Cracker, has revealed that you could always tell when the show’s creator, Jimmy McGovern, was annoyed with the late Robbie Coltrane, who played lead character Fitz.

Apparently Jimmy would add a fiendish stage direction for Robbie to enact, such as "Fitz runs for a taxi".

Says Paul: “Coltrane would inevitably ignore the directive and walk.”

It’s a battlefield

WATCHING telly the other night, Ian Noble from Carstairs Village spotted veteran broadcaster Kate Adie on screen.

Our rather ungenerous reader says: “I assumed she’d retired, and was actually rather glad. When she was reporting for the BBC, everywhere she went a war broke out.”

Bouncy bunnies

ZOOLOGICALLY-MINDED reader Jim Moore educates us in the ways of wildlife by pointing out: “A rabbit is inarguably a rabbit. Though technically it’s also a grasshopper.”

Paradise regained

BATHGATE actor David Tennant is hardly off our TV screens, though even his most ardent admirers might have been a tad surprised to see him return to his most famous role in Sunday’s episode of Doctor Who (Though fellow Scottish actor Ncuti Gatwa takes over as the Doctor at a later date. Oh, it’s all so confusing…).

Reader Jennifer Thompson says: “First we had Boris swithering about reclaiming past glories, now Tennant has actually returned to his.”

Adds Jennifer: “Just as long as Boris doesn’t try out for Doctor Who, which would inevitably lead to a pricey TARDIS redecoration, courtesy of Carrie.”

Top Cat

THE Diary continues valiantly striving to understand British politics. Ignoring the Boris-Liz-Rishi roundabout of recent times, Motherwell writer and comedian David Bratchpiece says: “Make the cat Prime Minister. It’s been in that house longer than anyone else recently.”

Communication breakdown

IRRITATED reader Claire Williams tells us that someone recently phoned her, sneezed, then hung up. “I really can’t be doing with cold callers,” she harrumphs.

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