Old-time joke

NOSTALGIA fans must be having a rare old time, right now. For just like the 1980s, Boy George is back on our TV screens.

And reminiscent of the 1970s, inflation and industrial strikes are running rampant.

Then there’s the threat of nuclear Armageddon, just as there was in the 1960s, while Russian belligerence is a very 1950s sort of horror story.

And let’s not forget all those empty shelves in shops, just like the 1940s.

Mulling over this last scenario, Russell Smith from Largs says: “Remember, if you see a hen trying to cross the road, please help. It may be trying to drop off an exceedingly rare commodity at your local supermarket.”

Medical moniker

EAGLE-EYED David Kirkwood gets in touch to tell us he was perusing Friday’s Herald when he came upon the list of graduates from the University of Dundee.

Under the heading of "Nursing – Quality Improvement and Patient Safety" his eyes alighted on a rather intriguing graduate’s name… Jane Careless.

A name to make any hospital patient gulp nervously, says David.

Clock that

FILM fan Ian Noble from Carstairs Village noticed the classic John Huston flick The Red Badge of Courage is on TV this week, starring Audie Murphy, who often appeared in Westerns.

Ian recalls that the memorable Christian name of this Hollywood icon led to him being fondly referred to by Glaswegians as the Twenty-four-Hour Cowboy.

Numero uno

ON the subject of movies… The Diary continues its baffling mission to depluralise classic movies. (Why are we doing this? Nobody knows. Will we ever stop? Who can tell.) Len Cuthbert suggests… The Magnificent One.

Nutty conversation

POLITICALLY-MINDED Don Wheatley was in the pub, chatting with chums about the bullying allegations that have swept Westminster; much of the nastiness emanating from the Whips Office, home of those shadowy politicians whose job it is to keep their colleagues in line.

Don admitted that he thought the whips sounded like horrible people.

“Course they’re horrible,” retorted one of his pals. “They’re called whips, urnie they? Not walnuts.”

Percentage game

AN English work colleague of reader Henry Smith was boasting about the past exploits of the England footy team. Henry countered by saying: “Scotland have never lost a World Cup or European Cup Final, so that’s an incredible 100% record, compared to England’s 50% record in finals – just scraping a pass.”

Food fights back

“I'M allergic to bread but eat it anyway,” reveals reader Mary Walton. “I’m a gluten for punishment.”