Tribal instinct
MOST of our readers are deeply spiritual. At this very moment, many of them will be bowing their heads in supplication to the eternal glory that is Amazon delivery service, while praying to the mighty Bezos in the heavens above, beseeching him to send frankincense and myrrh, which can then be offloaded on gullible relatives, as cheapo gifts on December 25th. Occasionally we have a rebel in our midst, who doesn’t follow the true faith. Such a person is reader Barry Martin, who boasts that he is a member of the atheist tribe, adding: “I’m incredibly proud to belong to a non-profit organisation.”
No show blow
A DIARY yarn about confusion over the acronym TBA reminds Annette Christie from Helensburgh of a lady who worked in the same office as her in the 1970s. This woman’s daughter attended a gig in Glasgow featuring a popular band of the day. When she returned home she admitted to being a tad disappointed, as one of the bands listed to appear hadn’t turned up. When Mum enquired which band, the music fan said: “Look, there’s my ticket, and it says at the bottom – Plus Support.”
A fishy story
THE Diary’s army of postal elves are being kept extra busy rummaging through hefty sacks of mail containing seasonal Christmas jokes, Christmas anecdotes, plus the occasional Christmas begging letter from a reader, pleading for a free copy of this year’s Diary Book. (Being cruel and heartless, we invariably ignore these entreaties, and merely send a map by return mail, containing directions to the nearest Waterstones.)
It seems that it isn’t only Christmas that is obsessing our correspondents, for Ian Noble from Carstairs Village leapfrogs the Yuletide season to discuss Hogmanay plans at his house.
“As New Year approaches,” says Ian, “my goldfish has made a resolution. In 2023 he’s going to swim anti-clockwise.”
The Lynch mob
AS mentioned above, Crimbo is cruising into view. Which inspires comedy legend Andy Cameron to muse: “I wonder if Mick Lynch will be taking an interest in Yuletide travel, and will be trying to get a better deal for Santa’s sleigh pullers…”
Cutting comment
THE Diary isn’t one of those mean-spirited Scottish media organisations that begrudges English footballers their escapades in Qatar. That’s why we won’t be mentioning English winger Jack Grealish’s recent boast, when he claimed his team were: “The best thing since sliced veg.”
Beware that glare
AGGRIEVED reader Timothy Bowden says: “Many people these days are judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.”
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