A DIARY mention of certain vending machines often found in gents’ lavatories inspires Bert Peattie, from Kirkcaldy, to further delve into this subject.

“In days gone by,” says Bert, “a common thing to see on ice cream vans was the request 'Stop Me and Buy One'. A variation of the same could often be spotted on vending machines in the lads’ toilets. Only it read 'Buy Me and Stop One'.”

Up the Junction

FAR-FLUNG Diary reader Eric Scott resides in Bondi Junction, which, as the name suggests, is on the other side of the world (Unless you happen to be Eric Scott, in which case Bondi Junction isn’t on the other side of the world. It’s underneath your feet).

As you would expect, Eric has been following the (now doomed) exploits of Australia in a certain international footie competition, though it would seem he also retains fond memories of his native culture.

For he gets in touch to say: “I can't believe I’ve watched all of Australia's matches at the World Cup, and have never heard anyone refer to Aussie defender Harry Souttar as Soapy.”

Cross during Crimbo

OUR readers are usually optimistic and full of good cheer, especially during the Yuletide season. Not Liz Hendry, from Falkirk.

Displaying a Scrooge-like sneer, she gets in touch to mutter a few ‘bah humbugs’, then says: “Advent calendars… ugh! They’re just so old- fashioned. That’s why their days are numbered.”

Tall tale

REGULAR readers of this feature will know that at the bottom of all the scribbled words there resides a magnificent photograph of a rather dashing fellow, who also happens to be the editor of the Diary.

Alluding to this iconic image, reader John Cochrane gets in touch to enquire of our team’s heroic leader: “Would your height be described in column inches?”

Eggs-tremely strange food

A TALE of confusion in the Diary inspires Ian Montgomery, from Elderslie, to tell us of his own youthful bafflement. As a helpful schoolboy during the last world war he was often sent by his mother to the nearby grocer to buy grey day eggs.

“I could never make a connection between the eggs and the weather until well into my teens,” admits Ian. “Then the penny dropped. I was, in fact, purchasing Grade A eggs.”

Green about greenery

HOUSEPROUD reader Amy Davis recently bought some fake plants to spruce up her living room. “Now I just need to figure out how often I have to pretend to water them,” she says.