Loopy lingo
ECCENTRICS are to be cherished, for without them there could be no Diary, and this section of The Herald would be left completely blank, forcing readers to fill in the strip of white space with oodles of doodles.
Luckily for us there are many quirky folk in this land, including the elderly mother of reader Don Rudman, who is a veritable fountain of wacky wisdom.
The other day Don was telling her that there had been a bit of a "hoo-ha" at his work, to which mum responded: “Hoo-ha? Hoo-ha?! I’ve always had a problem with that word. What’s so great about hoo that it comes before ha? Ha-hoo sounds so much nicer, don’t you think?”
Nefarious knitwear
STROLLING with her husband on a bitterly cold morning, reader Jennifer West spotted a hat and pair of mittens dumped on top of a fence.
Curious about why such items – seemingly in good condition - had been left there, Jennifer went to inspect them, at which point her husband warned: “Don’t touch! Obviously fenced goods.”
Picture this
WE mentioned the other day that, financially speaking, the country is as broke as an incautious pugilist’s nose after a run-in with Tyson Fury’s knuckles.
One person who is certainly feeling the pinch is a young female work colleague of reader Amber Kirby, who recently harrumphed during a lunch break: “I can’t believe all this inflation ‘n stuff. If things get any worse, I won’t be able to afford any new tattoos.”
Cut short
SMARTY-PANTS reader Donna Hobbs, who is a noted authority on both fashion and palaeontology, informs us that t-shirt is an abbreviation of Tyrannosaurus Shirt.
“It’s because of the short arms,” she explains.
Talking balls
SOME of our readers have been indulging in not-so-subtle digs at the expense of a certain kickyball crew from south of Hadrian’s Wall, who will be competing against France in Qatar tomorrow.
A more conciliatory note is struck by reader Eddy Cavin, who says: “I don't understand why Scots fans can't get behind Ingerlandshire in this World Cup. Just think, if they win, they'll stop going on about 1966.”
Yesterday’s Fake News
HISTORY teacher Victor Thomas showed a group of students the biographical film about Winston Churchill, starring Gary Oldman. With a knowing smirk on his face, one unimpressed scholar at the back of the class said afterwards: “Aye, right. As if any o’ that coulda actually happened.”
Questionable question
INQUISITIVE reader Anna Kerr asks: “What would happen if I stopped asking hypothetical questions?”
Read more from the Diary: French garlic bread? That's a pain
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here