Brrrr… ing it on

AS previously mentioned, this December is turning into the season of icicles dangling from earlobes, like the bling worn by a particularly vivacious pub landlady, for the Government is advising us to avoid heating our homes. (Cosiness and comfort, they’re just so – ugh! – passé.)

To celebrate the misery that lies ahead, our readers have forsworn watching the more obvious Christmas movies, and are instead getting into the spirit of things by watching films about the c-c-c-cold.

Donna Crossfield says: “My choice of movie is pretty obvious. I’ll be sitting, like a block of ice in the living room, watching that classic Disney cartoon… Frozen.”

Question of faith

AS our spiritual readers are aware, Christmas isn’t just about commercialism. It’s a time for Christians to connect with the book at the heart of their faith.

Which explains why the inquisitive 10-year-old son of reader Matt Randall asked the other day: “Does Santa Claus appear in the Bible?”

Red devil

TALKING of the Big Fella: we recently reported that a rascally bloke in a Santa suit – whom we have no reason to doubt was the genuine article – was dragged away by the Glasgow constabulary after clambering on top of the city’s iconic statue of Wellington.

Scandalised reader Claire Butler posits the following theory: “Could St Nick and Old Nick be the same person? After all, nobody’s ever spotted them in the same place at the same time…”

Brought to book

THE Diary has published TWO books this year. Both make excellent stocking fillers, though we suggest taking your leg out of the stocking first.

There’s our annual Diary Book, plus Laughter Lines, a joke book packed with daffy information, including the following useful advice: ‘Never have a pillow fight with death, unless you’re willing to face the reaper cushions….”

Wheely depressed

NEWS coverage has focused on industrial disputes involving nurses and rail workers, though driving examiners have also been on strike.

Says reader Ralph Pinch: “I can only assume their pay and conditions have driven them to distraction.”

Hard to swallow

ON a bus rumbling through Glasgow’s South Side, reader Dan Quinn overheard a young couple, who were clearly film buffs, discussing a movie they intended watching.

“It’s a cannibal romance,” enthused the chap.

“Sounds pretty gross,” shuddered his girlfriend.

To which the chap added hopefully: “Gross but cute, right?”

Read more from the Diary: Just chilling out at the movies


A TRAGIC tale. “We were so poor,” sighs reader Neil Kennedy, “that my mum closed all the doors on Christmas Eve, so we’d have something to open on Christmas Day.”