Striking thought

OUR readers have an inexhaustible fascination with Prince Harry’s autobiography, Spare, which is hardly surprising. The prince’s magnum moanus is a comic masterpiece of English upper-class life, twice as hilarious as PG Wodehouse or Evelyn Waugh.

There’s even talk of a sequel, which thrills Tom Bain from Uddingston.

“Pondering volume one,” says Tom, “I wonder if Prince Harry is an avid ten-pin bowler, which may have influenced his choice of title for the book. If so, will the next book in the pipeline be named Split? And if there’s to be a trilogy, would Strike be a clue to a military theme?”

Present perfect

A ROMANTIC tale worthy of Romeo and Juliet. Tom Hunt from Langside informs us that it’s his wife’s birthday next week, and curiously enough, jewellery catalogues have started to appear in the house, scattered on couches in the living room and on the kitchen table.

Our astute reader immediately took the hint, and said to his wife: “I know what I’m getting you for your birthday.”

“Oh?” trilled his thrilled missus.

“I sure do,” said Tom. “A magazine rack.”

Number’s up

HAVING watched an impressive demonstration of high-speed Rubik’s Cube dexterity by his nine-year-old grandson, Terry McGeary from East Kilbride declared the smart little fellow his “star grandchild”.

The youngster was understandably outraged by this inadequate praise, and countered by saying: "Not Five Star?"

Grammar drama

FACTORY workers can sometimes be dismissive of those who work at home on laptops, lounging in jimjams, occasionally answering an email from the office, though mostly studying Holly and Phil on the box.

However, Dan Russell says laptop labourers are more industrious than they appear.

“The other day I spent 10 minutes attempting to delete a semi-colon on my computer screen,” he reveals. “Turned out to be a dead fly.”

Brought to book

BROWSING in the Waterstones bookshop on Sauchiehall Street, reader Sharon Kemp overheard a little girl chatting to her mother.

The youngster gushingly said: “I love the smell of all these pages!”

Mum responded firmly by saying: “Yes, dear. But you can read them, too, you know.”

The name game

OBSERVANT reader Brian Chrystal spotted that a TV warning of chilly weather was delivered by meteorologist Craig Snell.

“Good word, Snell,” says Brian. “My Dictionary of Scots Dialect describes it as "...cold, piercing, bracing..."

Read more from the Diary: Was guard message to raiders armed or armless?

Brill brekkie

“I’M much happier since swapping my morning coffee for orange juice,” reveals reader Helen Brophy. “My husband says it must be all that vitamin C, but I think it’s the vodka.”