Et in Arcadia
WHITECRAIGS is one of the more salubrious districts of Glasgow, where razors are used to smooth a stubbly chin, never to settle a debate.
Yet even in Arcadia all is not well. For we learn that – gasp! – graffiti has besmirched a Whitecraigs wall.
Though our readers should not be too outraged by this assault on Eden, for this is no barbaric scrawl, but a political message to the masses, which reads: “In a society with no adventure, the only adventure is to destroy society.”
Will the good folk of Whitecraigs take heed of this revolutionary call to arms, and snap their golf clubs, shred their Pringle jumpers, and charge through the aisles of Marks & Spencer, grabbing glutton-free sourdough and refusing to pay at the checkout?
The Diary will keep you posted... if our brave correspondents survive the coming apocalypse.
Challenging puzzle
WE return to the topic of nifty nicknames. Ian Noble from Carstairs Village informs us that the late Bamber Gascoigne, of University Challenge fame, was known as "Shilling".
Says Ian: “Older readers will be able to figure out why.”
Tip-top toddler tip
HELPFUL Malcolm Boyd from Milngavie was assisting his four-year-old grandson with putting on his shoe.
When it came to the second shoe, the little chap advised that gran should also contribute her expertise because: "Team work makes dream work.”
“What are they teaching him at nursery?” marvels Malcolm.
Walter? Wit Walter?
THE Age of Enlightenment was a period in history when great thinkers such as Adam Smith and David Hume overturned the rusty assumptions of previous generations. A glorious time of intellectual inquisitiveness and the daring dismantling of dogma, which made the world a smarter place to hang out in.
Alas, not everyone got the memo about being smarter.
Glasgow history teacher Heather Thompson was telling a class about the Enlightenment, specifically the French intellectuals of the period.
One eager young scholar thrust a hand in the air, then said: “You sure this Walter guy wis French, an’ no frae o’er here? Walter doesnae sound French tae me.”
Says Heather: “The cunning lad thought he’d caught me out, until I explained that the intellectual in question wasn’t Walter, but Voltaire.”
Read more from the Diary: What are the chances of Steve Clarke's men beating Brazil?
Confusing contradiction
OBSERVANT reader Les Campbell was strolling along Garscube Road when he spotted a sign outside a health centre saying "Patient Parking".
Les assumes this is some sort of oxymoron.
Nice ‘n' nasty
A MIXED message from reader Melony Shaw, who says: “I’m an optimistic pessimist. I’m positive things will go wrong.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel