Comic strip
A TV sequel to the classic movie The Full Monty is soon to be released. The original flick about unemployed blokes discarding their clothes on stage for money was a hit with audiences, though reader Claire Mitchell isn’t sure she’ll be watching the new version, which once again stars Glasgow’s Robert Carlyle, now 62 years old.
Perhaps a tad ungenerously, Claire explains: “When a young bloke strips on television it’s a rom-com. A middle-aged bloke stripping on television is a comedy. But a bloke stripping in his sixties? A grisly horror show, all the way.”
Chocs away
IT was reported that a sweet-toothed pilferer was caught on CCTV absconding with 144 bars of chocolate. Says John Mulholland: “Surely this is what you’d call a gross error of judgment.”
Crime time
THE son of reader Heather Brand is leaving the Glasgow family home and relocating to Aberdeen. Heather reminded him to set up a direct debit for a TV licence, as he’s buying a telly for his new flat.
“Do I have to?” he replied. “I’ve always quite fancied being law-breaking scum.”
Low Zone lowdown
THE hot weather is making our correspondents a tad rebellious. Rebellious enough to reinterpret local government policy.
Says Russell Smith from Largs: “Am I alone in believing the Low Emission Zone (LEZ ) that is now running in Glasgow should be the responsibility of the city’s fertility clinics?”
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Devilish delicacy
THE Diary’s gang of gourmet readers continue to discuss their favourite dishes, though surprisingly lobster bisque, caviar and champagne have not yet appeared on the menu.
Ian Noble from Carstairs Village says: “I bought a book on how to cook roadkill. As chance would have it the very next day I came across a bit of roadkill, took it home and cooked it exactly as detailed in my book. To my delight, it was absolutely delicious. Mind you, I’ve no idea what to do with the guy’s bike.”
Rocky collision
A MISSIVE sent to The Herald about sports anchor Jeff Stelling's dazzling ability to improvise humorous remarks reminds Gordon Fisher from Stewarton of the occasion when Rangers legend Derek Johnstone commentated on a game in which Steven Pressley of Hearts suffered a bruising shoulder-charge.
As the pummelled Pressley staggered back to his feet, Johnstone uttered the immortal line: "Pressley's looking all shook up, uh huh huh."
Weird science
THE other morning reader Shirley Greene awoke bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. “That’s the last time I volunteer for that particular genetic experiment,” she shudders.
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